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MANSON SAID "no more all cap titles"
by Dan Titus on 2001-10-09

I was browsing thru the newstand on Thanksgiving Monday,looking for something to stimulate my reading interest. Sheesh, Martha Stewart has a magazine, Oprah has one, Rosie O'Donnell has one (And if God is a merciful being, there won't be a centerfold) Ohhhh, Gwen Stefani on the cover of Maxim Blender....she's yummy...

A realization dawned on me at that supermarket newstand....Dan can have his own magazine too! So I introduce to you.........."Dan. The magazine for less inspired readers".

We could give Jeff Ranger column space. 5 pages of blank paper should be symbolic.

And we would start out with an editorial,like this:*

*The rest would all be devoted to nude pics of Ms Stefani.

Phil Mushnick criticizes the WWF for running Smackdown two days after the Sept. 11th terror attacks. Sigh. Did it ever occur to you that for the sellout crowd on hand,it may have felt therapeutic to enjoy something that night?How good it felt to be able to take their minds off the horror for at least a few hours? And of course, you'll never see Phil mention how the WWF used the restaurant as a sanctuary for exhausted rescue workers. Or donated millions of dollars in clothing to them? Naw, we wouldn't expect both sides of things...

Jim Ross mentioned in a recent commentary that Rikishi would return in a few months, but still had "Weight issues" to address". Now call me naive, but when you base a gimmick around being fat, and then chastise the guy for being fat, isn't it self-defeating? I mean,it's not like a great weight loss is going to propel him into the Wrestlemania 18 title picture or anything. Hell,The Blue Meanie lost a ton of weight, and was rewarded with a delicious,low calorie,pink slip. For the sake of his paycheque, its best for Rikishi to remain pleasingly plump.

Lloyd Chapman never gets laid.

In further proof that the WWF booking committee reads my email, someone has comeup with the great idea of dressing Molly Holly up in pink spandex. If she comes out in a private school outfit, it means Vince has finally hired me to write Raw.

So in checking out the fall schedule for the new BC tv station I notice fare such as Lexx,VIP,every Star Trek series ever inflicted on us, And retread crap like Magnum PI. What I don't see is wrestling. Whatever happened to the good old days, where tv stations put on dozens of wrestling shows, just as cheap filler? The wrestling fans around here are starving for some good quaiity stuff, and instead, the give us re-runs of "To serve and protect" If I wanted to see a bunch of drunken Surrey guys being arrested, I can hop the ferry to Surrey. With the WWF not firing on all cylinders, its getting tough to get a fix.

Getting to sit down with my family for a turkey supper yesterday made me think of all those who have lost their lives in September, and all those who will spend their American Thanksgiving in the desert, far away from those who love them. So for all of them, and the ones in North America awaiting their return, here's a little something I found:

Wait (Lennon/McCartney) It's been a long time Now I'm coming back home I've been away now Oh how I've been alone Wait till I come back to your side We'll forget the tears we've cried But if your heart breaks Don't wait, turn me away And if your heart's strong Hold on, I won't delay Wait till I come back to your side We'll forget the tears we've cried I feel as though You ought to know That I've been good As good as I can be And if you do I'll trust in you And know that you Will wait for me It's been a long time Now I'm coming back home I've been away now Oh how I've been alone Wait till I come back to your side We'll forget the tears we've cried I feel as though You ought to know That I've been good As good as I can be And if you do I'll trust in you And know that you Will wait for me It's been a long time Now I'm coming back home I've been away now Oh how I've been alone Wait till I come back to your side We'll forget the tears we've cried It's been a long time Now I'm coming back home I've been away now Oh, how I've been alone


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Quotes from the boys: Notorious T.I.D. says "If you are a heel......stay the hell out of the crowd after your match. In fact, just give up all together. It's quite apparent that you are an idiot."
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