Welcome to the latest edition of Titus Talks, or as I like to call it "Dan,The Magazine For Less Inspired Readers.
You'll have to pardon your friendly neighbourhood columnist, yes, there will be several rants oncoming. Since you are already here,there's really no point in clicking the "Back"button. Now, The WWF managed to deliver a pretty noticable rating spike the night Ric Flair returned. This was immediately followed by,uh,nothing. Stand up and take a bow, booking team, you've turned the man into finely dressed wallpaper. Christ, we have him doing the standard, boring, "Person in power interrupts a promo,then proceeds to make it appear as if he's booking matches on the fly". Yawn. Note to booking team:If the idea is for an eventual series of Vince/Flair matches,please, for the love of Urkel, don't.I don't hear wrestling fans clamoring for it, but Vince likely won't be able to resist putting this together for Wrestlemania,place your bets.
Also, the Hardy Boy split is being dragged on way too long. This was the case with the Edge/Christian split. By the time it happened, a lot of people had stopped caring. Maybe if Matt tossed Jeff thru the Barber Shop window or something. From what I hear, a Matt vs Jeff match flopped at a house show, over the weekend. The fans started an "RVD" chant for some reason.
Go to honmableeds.cjb.net for a fine selection of wrestling tapes.
Time for a non wrestling rant. Yeah, I do that from time to time. Ok, I do it all the time. Brad Pitt was quoted in a ton of newspapers as feeling "Trapped and burdened by fame". So much so, he's entered therapy. Hey, Brad, FUCK YOU. I will never begrudge anybodies right to pursue fame and fortune, and for those that get that elusive lucky break, more power to them. But, what I cannot stand is someone who has been given the keys to the kingdom, then turning around whing about it. YOU wanted this, assfuck. YOU wanted everybody to know your fucking name. This guy has a huge mansion, millions of dollars, and he's fingerbanging Jennifer Aniston. But he chooses to play Mr Tortured Soul. See,if I ever got rich, I would have way better things to do then play the pity card. Like financing a device so I can scratch my balls without using my hands, thus leaving my hands free to drink more beer. Porn and WWF PPV's on a 51 inch tv, women letting me use them for sex, as long as I bought a watch every now and then. Yeah, and I would be the most fucking grateful fat drunken gigolo you ever met. Hey, do me a favor, pass this column along to some Brad Pitt websites, maybe I can start a pointless feud, thus giving this site much needed publicity. It's the least I can do for our webmaster.
Manson made a remark in the FAQ concerning discussing my alleged homosexuality. See, I don't consider myself homophobic,but theres a lot I don't understand. Such as:"Whats the attraction? Fill me in on this. I mean, men turn their asses into musical instruments of destruction while drinking and watching the hockey game. Why are some men compelled to use it as a sexual object? Does it turn you on when he cuts a rat during sex, and makes your pecker vibrate? Again, I'm not homophobic, just tell me what the lure is.
Ok, and whats with the parades? I'm all for gay people being equally accepted, but standing on a parade float,in a silver thong, with your bits and pieces hanging out for everyone to see, may not be the best way. Don't these events just perpetuate negative stereotypes? I think a lot of straight people may see these things as being a bit... antagonizing,hence, making it more difficult to accept you. I'm also pretty sure there are gay people who are horrified when they see the TV news showing highlights of this stuff.
Please stop calling Ellen Degeneres a pioneer. She was the star of a sitcom that was on the brink of cancellation when she suddenly decided to bring the gay angle on the show. Why do you think it only stayed on for 1 more season after that? Her show was short the required amount of episodes for syndication, it was a convenient act of desperation.
I cannot state it any more than I have, I am not homophobic. I am all for seeing gays treated as equal members of the community, but it seems some want to be more equal then others.
Dan-"Hey Manson!I say next time, we get drunk before we go back to that video store.Alcohol always makes us more charming. ".