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I have no journalistic integrity.At all.
by Dan Titus on 2001-12-11

If there's one thing that's been irritating me about the WWF as of late,its the fact that bonafide tag teams like Edge and Christian, and the Hardys are being dismantled in favor of superstar teamups, or teams not meant to be together for more than one night. Teaming Kane and the Big Show really does not seem like the way to re-energize a stagnant division. BTW, you are not going to believe this is coming from me, but I cringed at Big Show taking Stacy Keibler's skirt down, and spanking her. If it was meant to be "Titilating",it failed. The way I see things, when the "Face" team is supposed to lose a title match,it should be done in a way that builds viewer sympathy for them, thus (potentially) building interest in a rematch that scores at the box office, and TV ratings. Big Show came off looking like such a creep, I really did not care that his team lost. It's just another recent case of an attempt at humor backfiring.

Ah,The WWF now moves ahead to January's Royal Rumble, a match that guarantees some of the best action of the year. I would have liked to have seen the "Undisputed" championship put up for grabs in this match. Imagine,you have thirty men, battling for the title, you could easily spring a dozen new angles and feuds from the match itself, building interest in the midcard, potentially (That word again) leading to a more solid Wrestlemania. This years Rumble needs to be a vehicle to create a new star,not a showcase for the guys ya know are already in the main event picture.

I couldn't end a column without this,courtesy of Yahoo News.

BACOLOD, Philippines (Reuters) - A 32-year-old Filipino farmer who believed his penis was driving him to sin sliced it off with a machete in a fit of religious fervor, family members and doctors said on Friday.

Somebody ought to tell this guy there are far easier ways to get your name in the paper.

"He is a good son, and one of seven children, He indulged himself by reading the Bible,'' his mother told reporters in Bacolod City 300 miles south of Manila, where the man is now in hospital.

If his dad fathered 7 kids, he obviously had no problems with his manhood.I guess the phrase "Like father,like son" doesn't always hold true.

His act was probably triggered by the book of Matthew 18:8,'' she said.

Some people take what they read far too literally,I see.

The verse, from the New Testament, reads ``If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire.''

I don't see anything about the benefits of not having a dick anywhere in that paragraph.

Family members said they rushed the man to a nearby hospital in Bacolod where doctors said they had stitched up and reconstructed his penis, although it is now 20 percent shorter.

The words "Just take a little off the top" have never rang truer.

Relatives said they were unable to find the severed portion.

Whenever I lose stuff, I usually find it in between the cushions of the couch.Somebody ought to warn the maid of this particular household.

Doctors said the man's penis showed several wounds, indicating that the man had hacked at it several times before it detached.

"If at first you don't succeed"...

He is now in stable condition and his wounds were expected to heal in two and a half weeks, doctors said. The man will still be able to have children, the doctor added.

Oh,thank heavens! Because this guy sounds like an ideal candidate for fatherhood."Dad,where do babies come from?" "Aieeeeeeeee! Must chop dick off!I'm doing it for you, dear Jesus!"

He said he wanted to be nailed to a coconut tree,'' the man's mother said. ``He had memorized the Bible and preaches with the pastors in our place.

But other than wanting to re-enact the crucifiction of Christ for the entertainment of the neighbours, he seems like your average guy.

He also advised other people to remove nude photos from their walls so that small children will not become sex maniacs later,'' the mother said.

Yeah, we can be perfectly sane people who mutilate their own genitalia,but, as long as you're not some sex maniac,all is well. I think I'll keep my Pamela Anderson poster up,thank you. Maybe hang some tinsle around it, for the festive season.

Local radio and newspaper reports said the man had visualized his penis as a "cobra" drawing him toward women.

Uh, dude? I think all men envision it that way!. Remember in the movies, where the guy would be playing the flute, and the snake would slowly rise out of the basket? I'd like to teach mine to do that.

.

Everyone is gonna be sooooooo surprised when they find out the whole thing is some backyard wrestling stunt, gone tragically wrong.


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Quotes from the boys: Ed Moretti says "Okay lets see...they did twenty high spots, chairs, tables, chains, outside interference, and juice...what's the rest of the card gonna do"?
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