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Mangler's Memoirs: Adam's Rib
by Marcus Madison on 2002-04-06

This week’s edition of the memoirs will come to you hopefully out of left field. The contents in my hand are highly explosive and if I reveal what they are I may just have to kill you! Okay maybe I am being a touch dramatic but I hope to raise the "Eyre" of the WOMEN reader's here. What exactly am I referring to? John Milton’s “Paradise Lost” inspired this literal masterpiece. For those who have no idea who I am referring to it was the story of temptation for a couple of people named."Adam and Eve". As the story goes and history tells us it was Eve that led to the downfall of both her and Adam to. Will women's wrestling lead to the destruction of the sport?

So where is exactly is the inspiration? It is right here! I will attempt to dive feet first into the discussion, and avoid being hit by handbags in the process. "Has female wrestling simply led to the downfall of sports entertainment as we know it" I can just hear you snickering and so you shall until you give me a chance to hear me out. No shouting from the peanut gallery I won't allow it! I hear the comments being made right now! "They have no competition" or "the angle's suck". When really it is the WOMEN in wrestling which are the disappointment!

Don't confuse the fact that I don't like women as valets dipped in gravy it is that when it comes to in ring competition they well. No offence but SUCK. Now obviously we can reach into our bag of tricks and pull out comments like "physical attributes", "level of competition", "exposure". EXPOSURE didn't we see more of Rena Mero out of the ring then we did in the ring? I never felt this way about them but then again we are all so caught up in the sexual appeal of the female wrestling star that when it comes to ability we never give them a second look. This is for a good reason, there is no comparison between a women's match and a man's. Should we give them a second look? We did it was called the early 90's and that has since gone by the waste side. If were to give them a third look it's not at how well they can hoochie-canrama an opponent like Francine could.

Less than a year ago I wrote a piece about the women of WOW, the women of wrestling it never saw the light of day here is what I wrote, and in conclusion they really sucked. that was not it exactly it but it was something to that effect. If we think back to the early eighties when Rock n' Wrestling was the new direction that Vince wanted to take the company in, he looked to Cyndi Lauper in order heighten their popularity. Now needless to say that experiment failed along with the days of Captain Lou Albano and rubber bands. Was it even a solution? Or was Vince doing to the Girl that just wanted to have fun and do what we see him do to most women and use them? So we are now left with apparently no other alternative but to showcase women for strictly their physical attributes and nothing else.

Before you all begin to question, my sexual orientation needless to say l am very heterosexual and appreciate the female anatomy as much as the next man. My argument is about women in wrestling, is essentially have they honestly gone the way of midgets. When I was growing up midgets became the sideshow that made wrestling funny. It allowed you to laugh. The problem is that women wrestling in some respects are that it's just as comical without even attempting to be. "No one takes them seriously", is the reaction fans receive about the sport in general. Now as I say this did do we honestly feel this way did about women's wrestling. Do we take it seriously?

In the grand scheme of the wrestling world which we "marks", call "Sports entertainment", should women in the WWF have the audience to show their talents when their are superb Japanese or Mexican wrestler's around the world who do no get that same exposure. The belief is that although sex appeal may sell it is saturating the market and skilled men are being left in the shadows. It almost appears as if there is some form of reverse sexism taking place. That in some way men are simply being cast aside because society's "attitude" is dictating that we want to see T&A and that's all that matters. Not so! These matchups obviously reach a certain demographic but it ultimately ruining the sport as a whole.

Milton's tale tells you that it was Eve who tempted Adam because of Satan. It was Adam who knew better to eat the forbidden fruit but allowed himself to be tempted. Women in wrestling offer the temptation just like Eve did! I know this is not a grace of you know who but, Eve did nearly led to the destruction of man kind before the country ever had a chance to read my column! I know that isn't fair either.

Are my arguments insane or is it because I just haven't gotten any lately? Maybe both! The point is the women's championship and division is pointless! "Aren't they Divas though?" I love Torrie don't get me wrong but not in the competition ring! What exactly is a diva? Someone who gets recognized for how well she looks like on the beaches of Hawaii. Those bra and panties matches are trivial even. Although I like them really is it fair that these matches are on available during a nationally televised broadcast when someone in Japan is busting their hide and not getting recognised around the world. They have a place and a time and being inside the circle is just a waist of time.

Now that my obligatory rant is over, and I am spent. Women and Wrestling did I make a point? I doubt it. Let me just say Eve, never recovered from eating an apple from the tree of Knowledge. What happened you might ask? ETERNAL DAMNATION! THE FALL OF MAN! We can add to that women having to go threw labour during childbirth and I suppose we could call it even. Men, we came through it all relatively unscathed, we are all stuck with the "Adam’s apple".

And your point is??

Wrestling has nowhere to turn it appears. Women’s wrestling in many cases is sampling the last resort. Although this commentary may come across a being somewhat harsh because I may have just having a bad day or don't have a date for this Saturday. So to all the fans that feel pigs wallowing in slop is not an option on TNN, be rest assured women's wrestling would continue to live on.

The pointless ramblings of a man who has not put together a column in the past few weeks unless you count my shameless praise of Shawn Stasiak as being an actual column, will call it a night. So long, farewell, its time to bid ado" Julie Andrews I am not. Oh my god why the heck am I writing this before someone dares ask of my ambiguous ways I will stop.

Marcus know the rest!!!

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Quotes from the boys: Ed Moretti says "Okay lets see...they did twenty high spots, chairs, tables, chains, outside interference, and juice...what's the rest of the card gonna do"?
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