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Moondog Bites
by Moondog Manson on 2002-07-17

Lets just say some interesting things have been happening in the wrestling world. Of course half of them are ribs and totally useless, but nonetheless worth hearing about. I was recently in a dressing room this weekend for ECCW in Vancouver, now before I report about the show I would like to mention what was said to me. ďManson, you are the fat guy you are supposed to smell,Ē said a wrestler. What is with this you are asking, well some one there stunk up the ring pretty good and I donít mean the wrestling match itís self.

See it is called professional courtesy; you make sure your gear is clean for the guy you are in the ring with. It is as important as protecting the guy you are working. I canít understand how any one could talk to you, and I really canít understand how some one can work you. Every ones gear starts to smell from time to time, we are Indy wrestlers washing our gear every show would wear it out fast. When your gear starts to smell you have to wash it. I almost puked it was so bad; the crowd was heckling you because it was so bad. WASH YOUR GEAR or you will be named.

Now lets talk about my part of the Show. Was I booked no, did I bring my gear and try to get on the show, no. I did how ever ruin the best match on the card and I am so proud of it. Scotty Mac was defending his title against Japanese Star ďAsian CoogerĒ. The match was hot and on fire but before it could be finished I hit the ring and destroyed both opponents. I left Scotty Mac in a bloody mess and got my self a title shot at the next Vancouver show. I proved what many have failed; I proved that no matter how many thousands of spots and pin fall attempts, these moves from a true heavyweight such as my self are devastating. The Heavyweight scene needs more big men, and the one thing I have noticed is the hardcore division in ECCW is more suitable as the heavyweight title division.

I have taken on the task of selectively attacking wrestlers until I have pushed all the small boys out of the big boys league. That Is right folks you will get to see me assault children who claim to be wrestlers. No matter what weapons I use, No matter how tough you guysí think you are, all of your days are Number.

On another subject, today at 7-11 I had a weird incident. It seems they changed the slurpee machines and the consistency was way different then usual. It was harder to drink but the flavor stayed with it the entire time. I think they are on to some thing. Maybe with a little more research they will create possibly the greatest slurpee known to mankind. I also noticed the Flavor White Lightning, what the fuck is that supposed to taste like. Stop renaming your drinks; pop brands and flavors names donít need to be exciting. After all we drink the flavors we like not because of the name.

It has also been brought to my attention that a certain greenhorn is trying to mow the lawn of veterans. I hate to break it to you kid; rats are just like it was picking up chicks in grade school. The grade 3 kids leave the grade 4 girls to the grade six kids to pick up. STAY OUT OF OUR PLAY AREA. While we are on the subject of greenhorns, there was a sickening kayfabe that happened. If you have a birthday you better invite us, at least give us the chance to turn down your lame parties. If you donít want us there fine, just donít throw parties, I know I donítÖlol

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Quotes from the boys: Ed Moretti says "Lastly...after one of today's typical card is over..."well, what are we gonna come back with....a murder"?
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