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A column fit for a king...
by Dan Titus on 2002-08-16

I don't know how these things end up online, maybe because it's a matter of public record, I dunno, but you can view Steve Austin's arrest sheet here. Boy, thats one for the ol' scrapbook, eh Stone Cold? Yeah, I bet you both look at this twenty years from now and laugh.

I was so disheartened when I found out one of Eric Bischoff's hired thugs is going by the name of "Rosie". When I think of great wrestling names, I think of The Destroyer, Dick The Bruiser, The Undertaker,and The Crippler. Ya know, names that carry a certain degree of expectation toward what you are going to see. I don't care how tough he is. He's Rosie. Its like back in the early 90's there was a tag team called The Ringlords, who worked for the Tri-State Wrestling Alliance, which later morphed into Eastern Championship Wrestling, and finally, Extreme Championship Wrestling. Anyway, these were imposing looking guys doing a masked gimmick. At least they seemed imposing, until I read one was named "Speedy" and the other one went by "Rick". They never seemed so awe inspiring after that.

Maybe if he called himself Rosie The Destroyer or something like that.

I've been meaning to vent a bit concerning HHH's most recent heel turn. This wounds me deeply. HHH, you chose the Decepticons over the Autobots. You chose Dr Claw over the well intentioned Inspector Gadget. You chose the dark forces of Skeletor over that little faggy orange goblin who used to give safety tips at the end of every episode of He-Man. You live with that. What was the name of that frigging goblin anyway? I remember on the She-Ra show they had that little imp guy give safety tips. But he was fun because he would pick a new hiding place every episode, and you had to pick him out, sorta like one of those Where's Waldo? books. Um, this whole column just became totally derailed.



Yes, its time to pay a little tribute. See, I became a massive Elvis mark back when I was 8 or 9, around the same time I started watching wrestling.

I love the music, more often than not, when I'm having a shitty day, I can turn it on, and just zone out for awhile, to a time I was not around for, but sometimes can escape to.

Whether ya like him or you don't, Elvis is the most influential entertainer ever. If not for him, the likes of Springsteen or Tom Petty say they may not have been inpired enough to pick up a guitar. John Lennon said if not for this guy, there would have been no Beatles. Amazing.

And say what you will about the note his life ended on, it doesn't change the fact that a guy from Tupelo ,Miss. made an idelible mark on our culture.

The music is just something I'm hooked on. I've never been embarrassed to admit that.

Dan
"Long live the one true king of rock and roll".


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