Titus Talks
by Dan Titus on 2001-08-15

Ed. Note* I think Dan has finally gone over the line here....will this be his last column....he spews out nothing but junk now...I bet you he doesn't even have a married woman as a girlfriend now. Maybe I should sacrifice him to doctor luther. Well for Dan's sake I hope his next column is some what decent.

This is Goldy Martstein, since Dan is out of town, I am here with my latest journalistic conquest, an interview with...yes, he dazzled audiences in the Can-Am Connection with Rick Martel for an unforgettable six months in the 80's....Mr Tom Zenk!

Goldy: Now, Tom, you and the great Bruno Sammartino are mentioned in the same breath a lot these days....

Tom: Two great talents that changed the industry forever?

Goldy : No, that nobody gives a fabulous flying fig newton what you have to say unless your trashing the business.

Tom:Oh,ok

Goldy: So, Lets start with your days in the AWA, where it seemed like you were the only person there who was less interesting to watch then Greg Gagne.....

Tom: No, not true...even his Daddy knew better than to push him to a world title...lol

Goldy: Ooooooook, what about your stint in the WWF? Did Rick Martel dump your ass because he knew he was in for the tag title push with Tito Santana?

Tom:(looks at his watch)

Goldy: Well, what about your WCW stint? How did they persuade Arn Anderson to put you over for the TV title? I got 50 on blackmail...

Tom: Threats,actually.

Goldy: Could you have done something....anything, even remotely interesting? At least PN News rapped on his way to the ring, he made an effort to entertain...

Tom: I did do something cool. I called myself the "Z-man" now that was cutting edge. I made it all the way to the middle....All my little "Z-sters" loved it!

Goldy: What little "Z-sters"? Even the dumber kids wouldn't cheer someone who called himself the "Z-man". So.....did Eric Bischoff ever let you watch his wife eating pussy in Atlanta?

Tom: No. Bischoff was the one who held me back....

Goldy: Well, Tom, he had a choice: watch you "Mat classics" with the Diamond Studd, or watch his wife eating pussy....priorities, man!

Goldy : Well, folks, we got a dandy treat for you right now....a teaser of my interview next week with HHH :

Goldy: What was the first thought that ran thru your mind after tearing your quadricep?

HHH:That it really fucking hurt.