Ewwwww, don't use that to stir the soup!
by Dan Titus on 2002-02-26

Why is it deciding what you want from a vending machine takes you about three days past forever? I hate this. First of all, it can be very demeaning, because if you don't know what you want ,you pretty much just stand there looking the biggest fucking tool in the world. You may as well be wearing a diaper and dunce cap, because thats how stupid you look. First, you decide you want a Crispy Crunch, then the goddamn Reeses Pieces have to go do a run in, then you're screwed again. The humilation never ends.

Thank god someone on the WWF booking team had some brains. For a minute, I thought they were going to have Faarooq and Bradshaw go on a mindless rampage upon realizing they were in a bar with a large crowd of homosexuals. Well, only in wrestling could you have to guys beat people up on the basis of sexual preference and have them come off as faces, but thats a whole other matter. Just a Chuck and Billy ambush,huh? Those two have lost their novelty totally at this point. So we get it, you're "ambiguously gay", fine. But no one cares. The only heel heat these two get is because the majority don't want you on the two main shows. Billy Gunn struck gold once with a team everyone dubbed "thrown together", but it's really not happening here.

The WWF may have painted themselves into a corner with the NWO. They do horrible things, like smashing The Rock with a truck or Austin's knee with a cinder block, and it's going to make whatever revenge the faces dole out at Wrestlemania look pretty minor by comparison. The faces are always supposed to get even, but what can they do that's not going to look anti-climatic? We could be in for a letdown.

Arn Anderson only has use of one arm,eh? What does he do when he wants to clap? Just slap his good arm on the back of his neck, thus producing a clapping sound? Luckily for Arn, there really isn't a lot to clap for in the WWF right now, so he doesn't have to worry.

A friend of mine read last weeks column and told me I'm way too negative about the current state of things, the WWF in particular. Well, if they stopped sucking, I wouldn't have to be negative.See how easy a solution that was?

I went to two ECCW shows this past weekend, and I gotta say, even though ECCW isn't kicking ass like it's heyday, it can still produce some decent matches. Buffy,Bambi and Madison showed what women's wrestling can aspire too, if fans can be more open minded. But after the Nanaimo show, there was bit of an incident with throwing things, and I gotta say "Cut that shit out, morons". Boo,cheer,whatever, but the second you throw something at a performer, your stupid ass deserves whatever it gets.

Great having lunch with Manson and Wrathchild Saturday, they got some strange looks when they walked in, but given Manson's habit of showing his leopard skin boxer shorts(Now ya know) in the window's of video stores, he's probably used to it.

Good wrestling is out there, you just have to look to find it.