The Epitaph
by Marcus Madison on 2001-07-30
This weeks edition of the epitaph is a return to form for yours truly. This is the return of
the PRAISE/PULVERIZED rating scale and thoughts of the Invasion pay-per-view through the eyes
of the madness. To those who are unfamiliar to this, it is a take on the old "Siskel and
Ebert" to thumbs thing. The only difference here is if we were using thumbs someone's would
go through a table.
If I can be serious for a minute, this match wreeked of Awesomeness!!!
The first match of the evening saw three Canadians and one awesome force take to the ring.
This match saw the team of Edge and Christian take on Lance Storm and Mike Awesome. It is
funny that the feud is based around generally based around one word...Awesome. E & C, have it
and Mike "like totally does not" but kidding aside these four men put on quite a display of
athleticism. Despite Christian's near miss of team ECW, during an attempted over the top rope
spring board to the floor. This match gets PRAISE from the madness..
The twin versus the millenium version of "Dangerous Danny Davis".....
The second match of the evening was just a way to involve all facets of and personalities of
both organizations in the feud. I know these men are not wrestlers but Earl Hebner and Nick
Patrick should not be in the ring. The match although was very comical really was to silly
and not meant to be seen on a pay per view. This match get truly PULVERIZED from the
madness..
They need beer money, Sean and Chuck....
The third match of the evening saw the WCW and WWF tag team champions face off against each
other. Palumbo and O'haire were very formidable opponents for the A.P.A on this night. The
feud between to two and match as a whole made sense. When the rumors the invasion were being
suggested it only would make sense to pit the best one company has to offer against the best
of another company. This match saw several maneuvers such as fall away slams, shoulder
blocks, sidekicks, spine busters and ultimately clotheslines finished with authority. The
victors on this evening were the team of the A.P.A. The battle in the longstanding war with
team WCW/ECW goes to the WWF. This match gets PRAISE from the madness..
"X-Pac sucks", enough said...
The next match of the evening had the strangest results surrounding it and the result of the
actual match was not even it. The response of the crowd during the X-Pac/Billy Kidman match
may what have arguably turned the night around. The fans were merciless of X-Pac on this
night it did not matter what he did or said the crowd was not on his side. Kidman, got a
terrific response from the crowd and really working on all cylinders in this match. The match
saw modified powerbombs, an x-factor from the top rope, Kidman's powerbomb reversal to a face
buster and ultimately his shooting star press that captured the match for him. This match
gets PRAISE from the madness..
Being besmirched, so it is written so it shall come to pass...
The following match of the evening was added on Sunday Night Heat earlier in the evening.
William Reagal and Raven took to the ring for what I believed to be a bit of a
disappointment. The match almost seemed like a filler to me. It appeared as though the match
was just thrown in without reason. The evening was filled with matches that helped to serve
the angle except for this one. In the end with Raven victorious with the help of Tazz, it
still did not impress. This match gets PULVERIZED from the madness.
Who better than the Show-Gunns?
The sixth match of the evening took the "B-teams" of both groups and threw them into the
"Invasion". Hugh Morris, Chris Kanyon, and Shawn Stasiak faced off against The Big Show,
Albert and Billy Gunn. To me this match on the surface should have team WWF come out on top
when you factor in size and strength but this was not the case. I did not enjoy the match it
appeared to have just to many holes in it and did not have guys like Morris truly showcase
his talents. This match gets PULVERIZED from the madness.
Survive the taranchilla if I let you...
The next match had the opportunity to be a terrific contest. The Tazz/Tajiri match could have
been better if they were in their actual "ECW" element. I though the reactions to the crowd
by Tazz were so plastic and made him the old style heel that just does not work. That aside
Tajiri does not disappointment with the combination of his hybrid kicks and the green mist he
was victorious. The match as a whole was a disappointment as and for that reason gets
PULVERIZED by the madness.
The Whole Show...was this match!!
The following match to me was the BEST match of the night. This match was for a Hardcore
title I may sound like a bit of a mark for Rob Van Dam but just look at the style of this guy
and why shouldn't I be. This combined with Jeff Hardy's never say die/death defying risks
made this match everything it could be. These men took the match to the crowd where RVD
successfully completed a moonsault on to Jeff. He also completed a spin leg drop onto a prone
Jeff Hardy who was draped over the guard rail. Fans were also witness to Jeff Hardy being
pushed off a 20 foot ladder and receiving a "Van-Daminator" which saw Jeff fall off the the
ramp way in the process. In the end failed swanton bomb by Jeff Hardy and "Van tastic" five
star splash by RVD crowned a new Hardcore champion. This match showcased the best of both men
and without a doubt receives PRAISE from the madness.
Trish, Lita, Torrie, and Stacy...Oh my!!
The ninth contest of the evening was not really match but for every red blooded male out
there. The first ever tag team bra and panties match saw team WCW's Stacy Keibler and Torrie
Wilson against Lita and Trish Stratus. Sure the match no grecco roman take downs or ultimate
fighting submission manuvers then again who cares!! Lets's see the first to lose their top
for those keeping score at home was Stacy followed by Lita with the help of Torrie. The next
person to lose their top was Trish, but she made the BEST reversal I have ever seen into
taking off Torrie's pants. Trish and Lita then worked together to take off Torrie's top and
she was eliminated. The ladies then teamed together to take off Stacy's pants as they took
the match. Now I am not one to condone these kind of matches but what can I say, a once in
awhile never hurt anyone did it. This match gets PRAISE from the madness..
Are you ready to rumble?????
The last match of the evening was entitled the Inaugural Brawl. The team of WCW/ECW
consisting of Booker T, DDP, Rhyno and the Dudleyz took on team WWF consisting of the Stone
Cold, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, the Undertaker and Kane. The match was truly a contest of
epic proportions. Even thou, the company boasts that this is the first cross-promotional pay
per view between different companies it in fact is not. The company is all run under the same
umbrella of WWFE. Several things came out of this match. To those who may not have picked on
J.R and Michael Cole's constant slant on Booker T's "spin-a-roonie" was directed toward a
certain backstage guest that was in attendance which I have on good authority. I thought the
end was appeared a little rushed and seemed disorganized. The turn of Austin made sense but
the attack on Angle came out of the blue. If there were some kind of tormented look on
Austin's face, before the match had concluded between joining the alliance and leaving team
WWF then fans could appreciate him shake hands with Kurt followed by a stunner. Despite the
end being a touch disappointing the match gets PRAISE from the madness..
This months pay per view rates as so;
PRAISE=6
PULVERIZED=4
Check back next month with a look at the Summerslam pay per view and how it measures up.
Marcus Madison...Critiquing through the madness!!
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Quotes
from the boys:
Moondog Manson says "Leatherface is by far the sickest man I have ever met in the ring, the moment he hits you in the head with that steal chair you here a creepy laugh come from under that hood.". |