The Wrestling home of Moondog Manson

I'd like to start this column by welcoming the newest members of the staff to the fold, B.Brian Burke and Alan Smithee(If thats his real name. For those who don't know, whenever a producer or director decides he no longer wants his name attached to a project, his name is removed, and it's given a pseudonym "Alan Smithee". There was a movie about it a while back.)

Oh,my god. Did I just post something educational? Thats the last time THAT will happen.

I'm going to confess something. In front of all 6.3 million readers, and God:

I marked out for Austin's run in at the end of last nights Raw. There I said it. Heel, face, I mark out for anything Austin does, whether its hitting someone or playing the guitar. And you know what? I don't make a single stinkin' apology for it. It all goes back to what the NWG wrote last week, there's no shame at all in marking out. Whats wrong with suspending your disbelief for a few hours? There seems to be a bit of elitism along so called "Smarts" that its ok, to watch wrestling,but when you start (Lord forbid) showing ENTHUSIASM toward what you see, well then, the word "Mark" shall forever be emblazoned upon your brow. I wouldn't watch wrestling if I didn't (again, Lord forbid i should...like it) like seeing things i thought I would never see.

I tend to go by the motto "Caring about the opinions of others is a damnable waste of time" by that, I don't mean being disrespectful toward people or being rude, its about not caring whether people like the way you have your fun.

You can click the NWG's article here:
http://www.moondogmanson.com/wrestling/news/NWG/nwg_010.shtml

The media is quick to jump on another "Wrestling death" this time in Texas. A 17 year old boy stands accused of killing his girlfriends 3 year old daughter, allegedly with an elbow drop to the sternum. He faces the death penalty (Well, its Texas, I think spitting on the sidewalk is a capital crime) Of course, TV wrestling is going to take its share of the fallout. But folks, blaming the WWF for this (or the Lionel Tate case) is like blaming Burger King for causing obesity. A 17 year old boy should be able to distinguish between whats appropriate and whats inappropriate. I think what we have is murder,plain and simple, and someone not taking responsibility for his actions. Of course, it's way spicier for the media to use words like "Wrestling death", as we sure as all hell would not the truth to get in the way of a good story.

And finally, we take a dip into the old mailbag...all text written in white are my current comments, text in light yellow is there comments, and text in light green are previous comments of mine.

anus, They call me T-Lowe, I wrassel on the independent scene, where we wrestle in rings with real crowds and real training. This is in regard to your shameful and disgraceful article where you say nasty things about ILOVEUWxx.

*Oh,yeah, the "Cool dude" who has his own online "Stable".

Now it is apparent to all that your articles are both insightful and hilarioo. How could they not be, when you are on the same page as the absolutely hilarioy Moonhog Mason? When I read him hilariouy write-up (in the "funny" sectioy) aboot (inserted for any illiterate Canadanian) heeum vs Rocky Balboa, I laughed until my stool got wobbly. When I read him 200 or so "catchphrases", I knew he would set the WWF on fire when him gets there. "I want to be el bouncer." Hmmm. Catchy and hilarioo! And the AKA's - "Moonhog Hollywoody". If him thinks ripping off the greatest man of the 20th and 21st centuries will get he over, him silly and slappy.

*Why would Manson rip off Howard Stern?

Holy Moly, why am I talking about he, when YOU Danus, am the reason I typus? I have nothing against Moonhog. He looks like a great backyard wressrah. And to get your name from the Moondogs, well, I am sure him is a cute little booster. Tell he to be careful wrestling on el trampoline, though.

* More great RSPW satire, he's calling Manson a backyard wrestler...my sides are splitting...

Back to you Danus. Why did eeyoy feel the need to attack ILOVEUWxx?

*Guess I felt the need to be "Hilarioo"

You wrote:

* Why would you involve them [Hogan and the Warrior]? Do they hang out in the pickup truck with you on Friday nights, drinking cases of Keystone Light while lamenting how "Them immigrant types stole our jobs"? But I guess RSPW has a higher breed of wrestling fan than little old me.

We wish we could spend every weekend slamming down Keystones and Slushpuppies with the only two real legends of wrestling. Oh, how quick the Canadanadanadians are to diss American wrestlers. I have still laid out el challenge for ANYONE to name one memorable wrestler from up there in Canadanadia. There isn't ONE! Then some "smark" says, "What aboot Chris Benroy?" Holy smokes! Are eeyoy seriouy? What aboot John Tetris, The Canadanadian Earthquack? What about Chris Jericho (who isn't even Canadanadian, him from Missouri)? What about Dino Bravo? What about Frenchy Martin? What about Rene Goulet? Good points, all...what about they?

* Yep, agreed. What were the Harts, Rougeaus, and Vachons thinking?

If eeyoy ever feel like having a real match in a real ring in front of real people, come and wrassel me in a "loser eats soup out of the big dent in Kid Quick's chest" match. But watch what eeyoy say aboot the 2x'er. We don't like that.

* "Smithers, the big bad Rspw guys don't like me, help me Smithers..."

T-Lowe
-going to eat some spare ribs

*Well, you sure set me straight, and I am sure you are a big hit at the juvenile detention centre

From: ILOVEUWxx@aol.com | Block Address | Add to Address Book
Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2001 23:44:35 EDT
Subject: Hey what's up there Grubby!!!?
To: titus@moondogmanson.com

Wowee, forgive me for being little slow in putting your Moonpuppy site over, but I've been busy doing other things. Oh wait, I couldn't have been since according to you "there's obviously no girlfriend in the picture." I also might have been driving around in my pickup truck listening to Dwight Yokum or something too I forget. Anyway, I'd just like to thank eeyoy for putting me over and giving me yet more fame here on the internet. Also, I'd like you to know that I'd like to drop trou and squeeze a deuce off in your throat. Oh yeah, I have a few corrections to make though.

1. "First, writing in all caps is a sign that what you are about to read really contains nothing of value. Why did you write like that? Were you actually shouting at the screen while you were writing?"

WHEN WAS I WRITING ANYTHING? I THOUGHT THIS WAS CALLED TYPING. NOT ONLY DID YOU GET THIS WRONG, BUT YOU GOT IT WRONG *THREE TIMES* IN ONE PARAGRAPH!! TREMEND BRAH, KEEP UP LE SPLENDID WORK!

2. (RE: Hogan and Warrior) "Why would you involve them? Do they hang out in the pickup truck with you on Friday nights, drinking cases of Keystone Light while lamenting how "Them immigrant types stole our jobs"? "

UMMM, NO BRAH WE ALL HANG OUT IN HOGAN'S MONSTER TRUCK, WHICH LOOKS REALLY COOL SINCE EVERYONE ELSE AROUND HERE WHERE I LIVE DRIVES A TOYOTA CORROLA WITH THE SPRINGS RIPPED OUT AND MERENGUE MUSIC PLAYING REALLY LOUD ON THEIR 4000 DOLLAR STEREO. AND WE DRINK NOTHING LESS THAN SNAPPLE ICED TEA.

3. "Why would you asker Booker T to holler? You're the one writing in all caps"

OKAY BRAH, I HAVE THREE RESPONSES TO THIS ONE. YOU SEE, ONCE AGAIN YOU ACCUSED ME OF "WRITING" IN THAT POST, WHICH I DIDN'T. I TYPED. SECONDLY, I WOULD ASK NIG...I MEAN BOOKER T. TO "HOLLER" BECAUSE HE MUMBLES TERRIBLY, SO MAYBE IF HE SPOKE UP I'D BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND HE. THIRD, I'M SORRY I MADE A REFERENCE TO A SPORTSCENTER ANCHOR. MAYBE IF I HAD MADE REFERENCE TO MITSUHARU MISAWA OR SOME OTHER WORKRATE JUNK WRESTLER, YOU'D HAVE GOTTEN THE CORRELATION, BUT HEY, MY BAD BRAH.

4. .">CO-FOUNDER OF THE ULTIMATE ALLIANCE

*Is this an e-fed thing? No wonder he sits at home heckling ethnic groups behind the safety of his computer. There's obviously no girlfriend in the picture ;) "
WELL BRAH, I'M SORRY MY LITTLE GROUP ISN'T AS COOL AS YOUR AWESOME WEBSITE WITH THE NICE LITTLE MOONDOG PICTURE ON IT. ARE YOU ONE OF THE ORIGINAL MOONDOGS, REX AND SPOT? MY FAAAAAAAATHA LIKED THEY. THEY RULED ABDUL, CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH SLOBBY? WELL BRAH, I LOOK FORWARD TO YE INSIGHTFUL REPLY, PLEASE MAKE IT QUICK, I KNOW YOU PROBABLY HAVE A LOT OF MAGIC THE GATHERING SCHEDULED BUT MAYBE YOU CAN SQUEEZE A REPLY IN A.S.A.P.
TAKE CARE SWEET CHARLIE!!!
YOUR GOOD FWENH, ILOVEUWxx

*1) When you communicate in written form, it is called writing, hence I refered to it as writing.

2)Dwight Yoakam sucks as bad as the Pet Shop Boys.

3)Internet fame? Does it get you the good seats in clubs or something?

4)Yep, insulting those who play Magic the Gathering is going to insult me. Maybe I should take it up as a hobby, and therefore can feel righteous indignation at your remarks.

5)I still feel the fact that you are able to utilize axioms in some semblance of grammatical coherence albeit in a rudimentary and extemparaneous context is cause for rapture not derision.