The Epitaph: Summer Slam Assault
by Marcus Madison on 2001-09-13

This weeks edition of the epitaph is the PRAISE/PULVERIZED rating scale and thoughts of the Summerslam pay-per-view through the eyes of the madness. This column may be a week removed but my thoughts are fresh so allow the ramblings to commence. Readers have advised me to add a new rating that would act as the medium between good and bad. Wrestling fans allow me to introduce PENDULUM. It will be the turning point in a match and is what makes sway either way. So now without further ado, on to the match by match break down.

If I can be serious for a moment, hi grandma!

The first match of the evening was for the Intercontinental Championship. It saw first "cross-promotional" contest of the evening, between Lance Storm and Edge. The match up went back and forth and even hinted of a split between Edge and Christian. Fans were witnesses to battle between two fine athletes, and the result of the match up having a slight surprise end to it. The match up saw Edge prevail which I did not completely expect. I am aware that he is in the midst of a push but so is Storm. Unless the result of this match is a prelude to another contest between the two for the title and the beginning of a feud it is pointless. This match up in my opinion despite the conclusion receives PRAISE from the madness.

Our underrated partner needs a stool to reach the TABLE, now get it D-Von!!

The second match up of the evening was a six man tag and a complete waist of time and only served one purpose. The contest saw the Dudley Boyz & Test take on the APA & Spike Dudley. As soon as this match was announced I believed that its only intention was to introduce and strengthen Test's position in the alliance. The match did not even accomplish that in the end Shane gets involved and although his alliance members came out on top they did not look strong doing so. Test, whose on air camera role has clearly diminished is looks as though he is now in the midst of a push. I think however, with Shane's interference in the end Test comes across as being the one who needs support from others in order for a match to entertain. We did see Spike go through a table and although it is not new it still manages to entertain. This match up receives severe PULVERIZING from the madness.

If X-Pac sucks he didn't show it tonight..

The next match of the evening was for both the WCW Cruiserweight championship and the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship. As X-Pac and Tajiri went at it on this night they did not disappoint. I was completely wrong with my initial impressions of how the match would have been. I thought that Tajiri was going to come out on top and have to carry Waltman right through the match when was not the case at all. X-Pac connected on all his moves and he did not appear to play to the fans in attendance as well. Even though there was "interference" from Albert (and I say that because he never laid a finger on Tajiri) and X-Pac won he was very impressive in this match up. This match up get PRAISE from the madness.

Chris, could you connect on something please, other than a french lip lock!!!

The fourth match of the evening was a grudge match and saw Chris Jericho take on Rhyno who was accompanied by Stephanie McMahon. In my opinion what stood out to me from this match was the fact that Jericho messed up on three moves and yet was still able to come out on top in the end. The first mishap was his attempt to use the ropes as a spring board, well needless to saw he almost fell right through. The second was him falling off the top rope, don't ask me how but he did. The third was when attempted the lion sault on Rhyno he almost completely missed him. This match cup could have been better, but I can not say it was that bad. This match receives the first ever PENDULUM from the madness.

Hardy and Mr.. PPV...ONE...MORE...TIME!!!

This next match up was a return match of sorts and was for Hardcore title with one stipulation it was also going to be a "ladder" match. They saw Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam shoot the lights out one more time. Both athletes made several attempts to take out the other person with the use of the ladder. It was used as a battering ram and it rested on Jeff Hardy as RVD dropped a leg on him and the ladder. One sequence in this match up very questionable. I am referring to the conclusion of the match, when it appeared that Jeff Hardy was to have all but captured the title but had difficulty removing the title from the device it was suspended from. In my opinion it almost appeared to be a last minute change to the match, that was not originally planned. This was another superb performance and definitely receives PRAISE from the madness.

Who better than the Brother's of Destruction?

The sixth match of the evening was for both the WWF & WCW Tag Team Championships and took part in a 15 foot Steel Cage Match. The match saw the Undertaker & Kane take on Diamond Dallas Page and Kanyon. As I recall this match one word comes to mind, "SQUASH". As fans could clearly see from the opening bell to the final three count team WWF was clearly in control. This match left little to the imagination and the alliance members were completely destroyed. I was disappointed in the fact not only did Page and Kanyon lose but made had no format table offense. As you can tell the Brothers of Destruction were victorious but did little to entertain the fans. This match gets PULVERIZED by the madness.

I will beat your ass, what?

The next match of the evening was for the World Wrestling Federation Championship. In this match up we saw WWF champion and leader of the alliance Stone Cold Steve Austin defend his title against Kurt Angle. This match up had a build up, intensity, a last minute swerve and a still was a bit of a disappointment in my opinion. After the match up a friend of mine was convinced that this was a lead in for changing Angle into the next "Ric Flair" simply because he bleed like a stuffed pig and would "whooooo". I had a hard time seeing this happening simply because of those two reasons. I know readers may find that I am simply contradicting myself by giving credit to a match that was not all that it could be. However, I do respect the fact that fans did enjoy this match up I simply saw it as okay. Despite of all positives the match had in it I found that it was okay but not great. This match up gets the PENDULUM from the madness.

Tell me I just didn't lose that match...because I got high!!

The last match up of the evening was for the WCW Championship. This match up featured a return to pay per view from The Rock as he took on WCW champion Booker T. This match despite any pre-match up build up between the two athletes was most definitely EVEN. The build in the "war of words" may have given the edge to The Rock but the contest was a true athletic affair. The match up featured the "spin-a-roonie", a harlem sidekick, and the rock bottom. Booker, may have done the job in this matchup but was most definitely a team player in helping to reestablish the character of The Rock in the company and his dominance at the top of the company. This match receives PRAISE from the madness.

So to reasses the entire pay-per-view:

PRAISE=4
PULVERIZED=2
PENDULUM=2

Check back in next month as I dissect "Unforgiven".

Marcus Madison...Can you read through the madness?
You can hear through the madness? Check out Marcus Madison every week on Toronto's #1 rated phone line Joltin Joe's Wrestling line (416)350-3000. ext 2049. Long Distance charges may apply.