...Like a dingbat out of hell.
by Dan Titus on 2002-01-22

Nothing snaps me out of a perfectly good canned ravioli induced haze quicker than Jim Ross describing Chuck and Billy going over on Kane and Big Show as an "Upset". Why is it an upset? Big Show jobs every goddamn week, are our jaws supposed to hit the floor? Its like someone pinning the Brooklyn Brawler at this point. We just glance apathetically, and wait for something interesting to happen. But if the booking team is really serious about pushing Chuck and Billy(And it appears that they are) They need something to make them compelling. Not that I don't think those headbands are cool, because as we all know, Headbands=ratings, but these two guys need a mouthpiece. Not a valet who has nothing going for her but a pretty face and a pair of 40 DD's, but someone who can cut promo's for these guys.

Enter Jim Cornette. I mean, he's still on the Titan payroll, so why not do some kind of angle where he see's "Midnight Express" potential in these guys? Don't call them the new ME, cause it sucked with Bob Holly and Bart Gunn, but with the right mix of Cornette's mic work and a bit of a spark in the matches(Hopefully) it could actually be pretty good. I know last week I suggested bringing Cornette in to host a video series, but "Bring Cornette in" is pretty much my answer to everything. He did a great job on those shoot promo's on RAW a few years back.

I liked the way Jazz has been handled(In a manner of speaking) over the last little while. They built her up as a menace, and a realistic title threat. And then proceeded to job her to Trish Stratus. Now, I think Trish has improved a helluva lot over the last few years, but Jazz is really the type you can build a solid division around. Time to begin building her up again.

Any of you guys catch the Tyson/Lewis press conference this morning? This is what gets me. People look down their noses at wrestling for being, for lack of a better word "Fake" but they don't seem to bat an eyelash at the fact that every boxing related media event I've ever seen ends in a contrived pull apart brawl. However, Tyson was bleeding above what passes for his hairline after the event, so maybe he did a really clever blade job,who knows? "Dan, I think your cowumns are vewy extraordinawy". It sounds better in person, but I do a pretty good Tyson impression. Some reporter shouted at Mike post-melee about the boxer needing a straitjacket, causing Mike to display even more hostility than usual. This reporter couldn't be more wrong. Just because a man has served time for rape, bit a chunk off an opponents ear, faced numerous assault charges, and pelted reporters in France with Xmas ornaments, does not mean he's, ya know, unbalanced or anything.*

*In the event Mr Tyson is having someone read this to him, my real name is Marty Goldstein, and you can find me at the next Indy wrestling show in California.

Nice to see the WWF bringing back some old faces into the mix. Curt Henning obviously has plenty left, and being thrown into an angle straight off the bat isn't a bad way to start. Hot damn! Goldust is going to be in angle with,um, someone, but he is a great entertainer when given the chance. Godfather,well, he was unimpressive at the Rumble and the Raw the night after. Maybe he can be involved in some sort of comedy angle or something, seems best given his gimmick.

So,in closing: Jim Cornette rocks, Jazz can rule the womens division,Ray Brooks wears womens panties, and Marty Goldstein, Mike Tyson would like a word.