And now,a word from Milli Vanilli Chilly Willy.
by Dan Titus on 2002-04-09

So,if the 'net rumors are true,Bret Hart will appear on an ABC special and attempt to communicate with his late brother Owen and mother Helen. Hey,this stuff is goofy enough,I can't make it up. I never believed in this stuff. Does anyone honestly believe that these spirits are conveniently waiting for a prime time slot in some New York television studio? I think it would be funny if this guy made Bret think Owen's spirit was in the room, and then told Bret he had to walk around a room in his boxer shorts quacking like a mallard,or else the spirit would vanish. Hey, I'm always glad to support the lowest common denominator.

So do you think Steve Austin hitting the Stunner on Ric Flair to end consecutive RAW's is just some really bizarre form of Tourette's Syndrome? Actually,I shouldn't make fun of TS sufferers so much, I may have a mild form of it. I often sit restaurants barking like a border collie.Oh,wait. That's because I'm an asshole.

Molly Holly took the first step in becoming a successful heel last night. She darkened her hair,because most people with dark hair are evil.Hitler was an auburn, I believe. It's kinda like when Jericho turned and added in those red streaks to signify "Heel Jericho". Or when Evil Spock showed up on Star Trek, and the only way you could distinguish between the two was Evil Spock had a goatee. No, I am not a Trekkie, It's just that when I was 14 I once watched a Star Trek episode while I was waiting for G.L.O.W. to come on.

In all seriousness, That Molly/Trish match was the best match I have seen either one of them in. That part where Molly was on the top rope and Trish did that handstand upside down scissors thingie was cool. I bet Manson could do it, it's just that the other boys would be jealous of him again,like he always tells me they are. Wrestling needs more handstand upside down scissors thingies.

That RVD/'Taker match-In the words of country singer Tim Mcgraw," I like it,I love it,I want some more of it". RVD may be in the midst of an angle with Eddy Guerrero, but I really hope he and 'Taker do at least one big one on PPV. But if I remember correctly Bradshaw and 'Taker went at it as the show was ending last night. That could really be a throwback to the days when wrestling was just two big guys knocking the piss out of each other. Some hard hitting stuff potentially, as both men are stiffer than the Queen Mother.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to any American readers on behalf of my country for the recent resurgence of Celine Dion. We tried to stop her. I saw an ad promoting this TV concert she's doing, with the words "The most anticipated special of the year". Anticipated by who? Make their names public, so the rest of us can get a shot at them. Some things just ain't right by any standard.