Undisputed WWE Championship Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker - ADAM KARABEL and MARCUS MADISON
Hell in a Cell Triple H vs. Chris Jericho - MARCUS MADISON
initially when I first realized that this match up combined the talents of two of the finest Smack down had to offer, I knew that it would be a real treat. How can they possibly top their feat and grudge match of the Undisputed World Championship match at Wrestle mania? The answer is the simple raise the bar. The Hell in the Cell, as we are all clearly aware is what has made legends and ended careers! So will this be the case for Jericho and Triple H? I think so. This match up is slated as one of the best on the card. Unlike the other gimmick matches, the severity of risk here, regardless of the precautions that may be taken still pose a great deal of danger to both of the athletes involved. I look for this to be a hard fought match as it will inevitably be. When we take into account the type of match they are competing in and what is at stake! (Metaphorically speaking of course) how could this not be a true dual between to of the elite.
The High Point - They will undoubtedly make this one of the matches to see of the night.
The Low point - Triple H and Jericho will not simply lay down for each other but rather, they will need to have something take place in this match either a run in of some kind. Outside interference of some kind which will take away from the quality of the match of the finish without a doubt.
PREDICTION: CHRIS JERICHO
Kurt Angle Vs. Edge (Hair Vs Hair match) – ADAM KARABEL
For the second PPV in a row the WWF has to go wasting our time and money with a match between these two hacks. Their Backlash match was a total snooze fest. I mean, geez, each guy getting so many two counts in one match is just so boring!!!! I imagine it will happen again here. Think of the possibilities if this match were cut off of the show: Hulk Hogan would have more time to pose; Triple H’s entrance could go for another twenty minutes; Paul Heyman could wrestle for much longer or there could be another kick-ass backstage vignette involving a motorcycle. But instead, we have to watch these guys “wrestle.” There is one intriguing element in this match though. HAIR VS HAIR BAYBEE~!~! While I would rather watch paint dry then see Edge wrestle Kurt Angle, I am absolutely jittering with excitement over which one of these guys will come out of the match without their hair. Angle doesn’t have much hair as it is, but he would still look silly bald. Edge has a whole lot of real long hair so he would look even GOOFIER with a baldhead. As much as I would like to see Edge look all goofy, I think he is going to win because Angle won last month and the heel almost always loses the humiliation match.
My prediction: Edge wins, Angle gets his head shaved.
In An Ideal World : They would be wrestling with a stipulation that anybody gives a f*** about.
Intercontinental Championship: Eddy Guerrero Vs. Rob Van Dam - ADAM KARABEL
Wow, that was a pretty intense buildup for this match huh? Best build out of any match on the show says I. I mean, could you feel the sheer intensity pulsating through the veins of these two men on Raw when Eddy was yelling in broken Spenglish with his cheap Cheech Marin knockoff accent while Rob stood there pointing to himself? That was unbelievable man. Even though they had a month to build this match and this was the entire f***ing build up to it the week before it happens. And the stipulation for the match? THERE ISN’T ONE! It’s the same match as last month only with a different guy holding the title. At least that lame Edge/Angle feud showed enough continuity to put in a kick-ass stipulation like hair vs. hair. As for the match, the WWF seems to be down on RVD right now for reasons they probably don’t even understand. Yet jobbing him here would demote him even further than he was before he won the IC title and give him nobody to feud with. However, they could just have him put over Eddy here to further build up Eddy as a strong champion and move RVD onto bigger and better things. However, this IS the WWF here so I imagine the conclusion to the match and the events afterwards won’t be satisfactory in any way. Match should be great though.
My prediction : Eddy retains the gold
In An Ideal World: This is a ladder match and they completely steal the show. RVD puts Eddy over and is immediately moved up to main event status afterwards.
Handicap Match: Stone Cold Steve Austin Vs. Ric Flair and The Big Show – ADAM KARABEL
It’s really; really difficult to get me to stop caring about Steve Austin, but the WWF has succeeded admirably. Austin is still the best in the business, but he has been on a streak of bad matches which shitty opponents for the last three months now. Every time he is in the ring or giving an interview he looks like he’d rather be doing something else. Take this match for example: Nobody gives a f***, including any of the participants involved. The whole Ric Flair heel turn was a complete brain fart by the booking team to begin with. The whole reason that the roster was split into two different factions to begin with was because Ric Flair and Vince McMahon hate each other. Period. Now all of a sudden you have Ric Flair empathizing with Vince McMahon over what a pain in the ass Austin is. Flair and McMahon need to be babyface and heel respectively. Period. That’s the only way that this whole roster split thing can work. Now we have to sit through another Steve Austin Vs. Evil Owner feud that has been done to death for the last three years, only this time it can only result in shitty matches like this. The N.W.O. is dead. Paul Wight gets fatter by the hour and has never had a good match in his entire career. Ric Flair is too old to be wrestling on a regular basis and the fact that he is now a heel completely kills the entire concept that the “brand extension” was based on. No we have to watch an unmotivated Steve Austin go through shitty matches on PPV after PPV. This match is one of the best examples of everything that is wrong with the WWF right now. Austin wins this one because heels NEVER win handicap matches.
My Prediction : Austin Wins
In An Ideal World: I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that….
Tag Match Hardy Boyz vs. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman - MARCUS MADISON
This match makes me shake my head for a number of reasons. Adam, I have to tell you that the Hardyz role in this match up is what exactly? Are they still defending Lita's panties? I don't think they are. So what exactly is left to prove? Well we have no reason to believe that this match does nothing but strengthen how important Lesner's push is. Really when you think it is there really any doubt how important Lesner is suppose to be? This match does not appeal to me for so many different reasons. The first one being without question, it this terrible concept of the Hardyz taking on the role of David to slay the mighty Goliath, was done only a few months ago, in something called, "The Undertaker sends to the Hardyz to the hospital only to discover it was to get them off television". The second reason I have a problem with this match up is, why rehash this poor attempt to build someone up who clearly has the size, to beat many an opponent by doing it against the Hardyz? This just seems sad I say. Although the final reason I have a problem with this match is because Heyman tagging with Lesner just takes away from quality of the match, I must say it will certainly add some comic relief to it as well.
The High Point - The countless high spots by the Hardyz, and their incredible ability to take a bump without question.
The Low Point - This match just doesn't encourage me in the least to watch it. If the match up was attempting to take away from the similarity of the Undertaker feud of a few months ago by adding Heyman, it sure accomplished that! (just not in the way they think)
PREDICTION: BROCK LESNER AND PAUL HEYMAN
Tag Team Championship: Billy and Chuck Vs. Rikishi and a Mystery Partner - ADAM KARABEL
The WWF has successfully turned one of the most entertaining and competitive tag team divisions in history into nothing. Billy and Chuck are two miserable wrestlers with a stupid gimmick that has been done before and done much better before. The only reason they are tag team champions is because there was absolutely no other tag team to put the gold on. And because the tag team champions were drafted entirely to the Smack down roster without being able to compete on Raw that means that there is absolutely no competition for Billy and Chuck. This match, which was thrown together at the last possible second, because of some asinine feud that Rikishi, got into with Billy and Chuck’s “stylist” Rico (who by the way, is a more talented wrestler than both the tag team champions combined). Now Rikishi is being paired with a mystery partner for a shot at the tag titles. The general rule about mystery partners is that 95% of the time they are guaranteed to be a disappointment, and I don’t see this time being any different. There is really nobody who would make sense as Rikishi’s partner, but I’m going to guess that it’s Tazz because I feel like guessing Tazz. Billy and Chuck are retaining the titles either way.
My prediction:Billy and Chuck retain
In An Ideal World: The tag team division doesn’t suck and Billy Gunn is unemployed.
Women's Championship Trish Stratus (with Bubba Ray Dudley) vs. Stacy Keibler (with Reverend D-Von) - MARCUS MADISON
This was the last minute match in of the entire Judgment Day event. I am aware of Jazz, having to recover surgery but putting Trish and Stacy in a match just seems wrong for so many reasons. The first one being this was put together out of a "bikini contest". Now maybe I am wrong here but didn't the company try the same thing with Molly and Terri only a few days earlier? That was embarrassing to turn that into a match and now replacing Jazz in an actual contest with Stacy is suppose to do that, I doubt it. The second concern I have is that now the good Reverend D-Von and Bubba Ray accompany these two women to the ring. Please correct if I am wrong here but when did a problem occur between D-Von and Bubba Ray. I am aware that there is not one what I am attempting to say is does having these two men at ringside help the quality of the match in the least? I doubt it. All it does is simply provided a distraction to the viewers to make up for Stacy's in ring mat ability. If there are too many mistakes then simply put the Dudleyz will not only be getting the tables, and now bibles apparently be will have to do so to camouflage one of the Stacy's lack of in ring skill.
The High Point - *still searching for one*
The Low Point - Where shall I begin? Had Molly in some way made her way to the Smack down broadcast and crossed "promotions" then I would understand that this match would have potential. Heck unless a bra slips (and if there is a god I hope that happens then this match won't impress me in the least. I could be eating some serious crow, come Monday morning and Stacy might surprise the dickens out of me. Time will tell. Needless to say, I just can't wait until the main event.
PREDICTION:TRISH STRATUS
Undisputed WWE Championship Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. Undertaker - ADAM KARABEL and MARCUS MADISON
ADAM: Remember the last time Hulk Hogan and the Undertaker headlined a WWF PPV?
Marcus:To my memory I can't to be honest. Refresh my memory will you?
ADAM:Survivor Series 1991, 11 years ago.
Marcus: Amazing and now I believe they feel that time could stand still
ADAM: you’d think so.
ADAM: But if you thought their match in 1991 was slow.....
Marcus: then imagine how it would be 11 years later
Marcus: like watching paint dry...
ADAM: Like watching paint dry while taking valium.
Marcus: slow, dull and with out the edges of the room trimmed
ADAM: Yes.
Marcus: so there will be mistakes everywhere.
ADAM:Mistakes won't even begin to describe it.
ADAM: The match is going to be incoherently slow, inconsistent and boring.
Marcus: with this said what else do you look in the match?
ADAM: hopefully we'll get to see Hulk Hogan take another merry go round ride on the back of a motorcycle.
ADAM:But seriously folks....
ADAM: I think Hogan loses the belt here. Somebody has to realize what a disaster his title reign has been.
ADAM: Not that the Undertaker holding the belt will be any better....
Marcus: without question they are taking the time to not only allow each other to carry the title, but they allow each other to be insulted while doing so
Marcus: fans today are without question the most intelligent of before, by allowing the WWE to carry on by having these guys carry the titles is an insult
Marcus: we clearly understand that although those certain men are draws and certain ones are not... Hogan and Taker are but... it is a little more complicated then that their inability to move in the ring, shows and fans realize that.
ADAM: the current WWF audience is used to seeing wrestlers put on GOOD MATCHES, Right.
ADAM: I don't think anyone has illusions that this can be a great or even decent match.
Marcus: this isn't the case with these two. Regardless of their accomplishments
Marcus: so what are you high and low points of the match?
ADAM: High Point: One of them could get seriously injured and I think Hulk Hogan's title reign is coming to an end.
ADAM:Low Point: The match is even happening. I can't remember the last time I was so completely not looking forward to a PPV main event.
Marcus: I can't argue you there, Adam. The High point for me regardless of my feelings for him is Hogan constant attempts to make it to the top attempting to the top. My Low point is that neither of these men could sell a move if their lives deepened on it. If only Vince realized that, before he put this match together.
Marcus: For Adam Karabel, this is Marcus Madison saying check back in next month for The Monthly PPV Deconstruction Preview: King of the Ring
Email Adam Karabel for your comments at guitar_god@hotmail.com
