For those about to rock...
by Dan Titus on 2002-06-18

I just wanted to remind you that you can still enter the death pool. As of this writing, no one has croaked yet, but the wrestling business being the way it is, that prize should not go unclaimed for very much longer. If you have not made your pick, you can read the details by clicking here.

Memo to Ozzy Osbourne: Listen, I'm not a huge fan or anything, but I respect what you have accomplished in the music biz. I even agree with the people who use the term "Legend". But me and you have a problem, and we need to nip it in the bud, now.

See, I don't tune into Muchmusic very often, but when I do, I don't think it's wrong of me to expect to hear something with some redeeming musical value. So Ozzy, from the bottom of my heart, Please keep your no talent offspring out of the recording studio. Do so violently if need be. Tell Kelly if she wants to do something with her last 3 1/2 minutes of fame, tell her to plant a tree or save the fucking whales or something. Her voice resembles two cats fucking on a razor wire fence.I mean, she's not even decent jackoff material.Britney, Christina, Jennifer Lopez, yeah, a guy will slap his pecker around like it owes him money over any of them, but seeing your puke ugly daughter only makes me wanna get real drunk and surf porn at Halsall's place. Besides, why the hell do we need someone doing Madonna covers, anyway?.

I'm sorry, it needed to be said.

Oh, yeah, wrestling. Um, Rock is back. Austin's gone, sadly,Sweet Daddy D is still wrestling. That about covers the news as far as that goes. Goodnight and godspeed.

But in all seriousness, they've dealt with the Austin thing, it's time to move on. But there are a lot of fans who think the WWF will never bring Austin back due to last weeks events of no showing RAW, and the business with Debra. As far as wrestling fans go, most have short memories anyway. If Austin came back next week, hit a Stunner on someone, and proceeded to have sex with Princess Diana's rotting corpse, the same people who have spent the last few days castrating him online would be hailing him as a conquering hero. And Vince knows, regardless of the situation, an Austin comeback tour would do nothing but make him money. How many times have you seen baseball players and the like disrespecting their professions and society , yet be welcomed back time and again with big money deals? Is it sad, yeah, but morals get in the way of making money.