Nude pics of Molly Holly....
by Dan Titus on 2002-08-02

Ah, the joys of sleep deprivation. I think I'll go to some deserted place, devoid of contact with the outside world. The new Dana Carvey movie sounds like it will provide the perfect opportunity.It was kinda funny, a lotta people figured he was destined for movie superstardom after he left SNL, but thus far all his solo efforts have competed for space on the bottom of the discount bin, along with such luminaries as "Ernest Goes To The Proctologist." Dude, your old pal Mike Myers has proven to be pretty reliable at the box office. There is no shame in letting somebody else carry you to greatness. Make the call.

Chyna is doing another autograph session,this time at a truck and tractor pull. Boy, you sure showed ol' Vince,eh? Maybe next she'll do dinner theatre with Jamie Farr.

The WWF opens a new interactive attraction in Niagra Falls, Ontario. A tv reporter makes a comment that this "Will give wrestling fans something to do in between watching wrestling matches." Yeah, because as we all know, wrestling fans voluntarily enter a state of cryogenic suspension like Ted fuckin' Williams when there is no wrestling to be found.

Ya know, with wrestling websites, magazines, theme parks, restaurants, video games, etc, it seems as if actually sitting there watching a wrestling program has become an obsolete idea. Vince, if you stop giving wrestling fans things to do other than watching your shows, maybe your ratings will go up.

And could someone please tell me why the WWF is sponsoring racehorses named after its stars?It just seems to reek of overkill.

Can you imagine if they named racehorses after indy wrestling stars?The Moondog Manson horse likely wouldn't win any races, he'd just try to take as many out of the race as possible.

"Ha ha! Look at the Sweet Daddy D horse!What a useless,untalented nag that is, does the glue factory arrange pickup?"

"Dan, that *IS* SDD, he's here to sign autographs."

Ya figure they put peanut butter on SDD's gums, so he can cut promos, like they use to do with Mr Ed?. "SDD's day at the race track wasn't one for the highlight reel".

Someone,unintentionally, gave me a good idea. Take something you consider a hobby and try to make money out of it. There is a ten BILLION dollar a year industry out there, and someone with artistic vision such as myself needs to get a piece of that.

I should become a porn producer! I mean, whats to know? All I really need is a camera, and a slut who's willing to mortgage her principles. This could be like a license to print money.

I do want a decent screenplay though, So I gotta get to work on that.

"Mr Director, whats my motivation?"

"Um, you're a girl who,um,likes to fuck, and you're quite skilled at this particular endeavor, here, lemme show you what I mean in these sketches I did this morning..."

I need to get a monacle and a beret, like all them big shot directors wear.

Wish me luck.