Seems like Marty's popping up everywhere. Vote Slovak! I did and all this banner cost me was paying him in turkish dollars, peanuts really
Marcus Madison : Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls... oh yeah and Adam Karabel…wait a minute your not Allen! Who are you?
Dirty Desmond : Hi everyone it's me Dirty Desmond here to give your hardcore fix. Just think about it, Dirty Desmond and Marcus Madison alone in a room...phwoaaar...no wait...what are we talking about?
Marcus Madison : Wrasslin...
Dirty Desmond : Ah right, so not porn then
Marcus Madison : Porn? Who said porn? Wasn't me!
Dirty Desmond: So…this isn't the XXX weekly feed then…
Marcus Madison :Thanks for cheapening me Dirty, and you know I hate Vin Diesel
Dirty Desmond :I love Vin Diesel. Just imagine it...Vin Diesel and Dirty Desmond alone in a cinema together...sorry, I'm doing it again aren't I?
Marcus Madison : Yes you are.. and you’re staining your movie theatre seats
Dirty Desmond : Hey that's not my fault man; it's an involuntary bowel movement
Marcus Madison : involuntary my arse, I mean your arse. If I play Vin does that mean I get to the 14-17 year old teeny bopper demographic?
Dirty Desmond : sure whatever you want honey...I mean...Marcus
Marcus Madison : Ahh sugar, thanks cutie pie!
Dirty Desmond : haha...later Marcus... moving on…
Marcus Madison : That time has come again, for Dirty and myself to make up for the loss of Adam Karabel. The Monthly PPV DeConstruction Preview is upon us! Come back quick AK, these young guys are killing me.
Dirty Desmond : Hooray! And you can stop calling me Dirty now...K J will do fine
Marcus Madison : So it is you? The Prince of Belfast Air! K to the izza, J to the izzum!
KJ: uh...
Intercontinental Championship
Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit - KJ
Oh baby, Oh, OH, I’ve got two big ones here, oh, are you getting excited? Are you? You should be…pant, pant, moan, squeal… Geez, I have to apologize again; I’m sorry, I have issues. I am working through them with my counselor, honestly and it is much better these days. I mean, you should have seen the ruckus I caused at Christmas when the cousins
were over. Needless to say, Aunt Marie didn’t like her present much. Come to think of it she still isn’t speaking to me; maybe I should try and do something about that…
What can I say about this match besides whoopee? A few weeks ago on RAW both of these guys delivered a great 10-minute match and it’s not unreasonable to expect them to surpass it on Sunday. It’s quite clearly the pick for Match of the Night in my eyes. The story leading up to this has been good (if a little suspicious, isn’t the shredding of contracts a bit illegal Stephanie? It certainly wasn’t an incredibly smart move to admit the intent right in front of a TV camera), both guys have been built up very well on their respective shows over the last month, Benoit in matches with Rocky and RVD with Jericho. Benoit Picks up the win here cause Smack down needs the IC title and RVD goes on up the ladder. Super. Oh, and don’t forget to visit the Literal Device when it opens soon. Won’t be long now.
Oh, and don’t forget to visit The Literal Device when it opens soon. Won’t be long now.
The High Point : Probably Everything.
The Low Point : Eh, if I had to pick one I’d go with the same problem Angle/Mysterio might face: a lack of time, but to be honest I don’t think that will turn out to be a big thing here.
Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels - Marcus Madison
There is a genuinely negative feel as this match quickly approaches. For various reasons I do not anticipate much of a match here. The entire build up to this match has lead to what eventually will be what Michaels retirement? His disembowelment of a career of sorts. It would be a shame to see this once great athlete have to submit himself at the hands of Triple H, his friend. I did not enjoy having to see Mick Foley have to relinquish his in ring character just to satisfy what the writing staff dictates as being following the "script". This is not the case in the least. I hope that Shawn walks out on top. I am also realistic enough to believe doing this would also weaken Triple H's overall character. This match does nothing to support rather cynical belief. I am torn here between what I want to happen and what I believe will happen. So with this said, I will go with my heart and not my head. As I gaze into my crystal ball my prognosticating ways tell me that Shawn Michaels will come out the victorious. Simply because if anything if this match needs anything it needs a conquering hero.
The High Point : The return of HBK. Once the lights hit, the music cues it will be Shawn wowing the crowd like he has done a million times before. Love him or hate him he can entertain the crowd based on his charisma alone.
The Low Point : The build up to this match. Friends turning on each other that's original. Now if Shawn's wife was part of the angle..wait. Sorry, been there done that.
Kurt Angle .v.s Rey Mysterio - KJ
I’d just like to take this time to remind everyone to visit The Literal Device when it officially opens shortly.
Another match that promises to be worth the wait, and a pretty good feud too for what it was. Rey’s the cocky youngster trying to make his mark, Angle is the top guy who’s ‘too good for him’. Youngster challenges arrogant top guy to a match to prove that he is the real thing. A good, logical, build up, (complete with the most kick-ass short jokes). Rey, more than almost every other ex-WCW guy has been made to look like a major player right from the go. Attacking UnAmericans, pinning Kurt Angle, win or lose, this match can only help his progress in the short term.
Naturally the match will be great, I’m going to go with Kurt pulling this out for the same reasons as Edge. Namely, he looks to be entering a big feud with Brock Lesnar in the not-too-distant future and will get built up accordingly. And like I said, Rey can get over here even if he loses due to the underdog status he’s had forced upon him because of his size. The big problem as I see it is where Rey is going to go after Summer Slam. Logic dictates that Jamie Knoble, being a heel cruiserweight champion, would be the next obvious target. But a run with the rest of the cruisers might easily be seen as a step down for Rey after coming in to a feud with Kurt Angle. It’s also possible that any feud with Knoble would be cheapened by the perception of Rey as big favorite. After all Rey can hang with Kurt Angle, Jamie Knoble is nothing compared to that. In a similar vein if Rey doesn’t enter the cruiser title hunt and challenged another big heel he’d be forced to play the underdog face role again, effectively re-hashing the feud
with Angle. Well whatever happens I’m sure the WWE will find some way to screw it up. What else do you expect? Looking forward to this match a lot.
The High Point : Rey’s mad stuntz, any pre-match interview Angle gives.
The Low Point : Might not be as good as it could be if it’s stretched for time.
Undertaker vs. Test - Marcus Madison
See I sent out the assignments for covering this months DeConstruction and what happens after I noticed I got saddled with this match. KJ want to switch? Anyhow, if this match produces anything it will do two things. It will showcase Test's continuing push in singles action. The second thing it will do is show how the Undertaker will continue to give the younger talent that much needed push that is needed. I will admit I am not a fan of either of these men, so to view this match objectively and not be too cynical if anything at least me being honest. We will either have all the young girls in the crowd popping with their "I (Heart) you" Test" or their older sisters claiming, "Can I take the Test?" which has nothing to do with the match it probably has something to do with his teeth. I dunno. The Undertaker appears too be pushed in the direction of the "American Bad Ass" character again, remind me again how is that different from what he now? I see Test coming out on top with a little help from his friends.
The High Point : Umm, they both like Black?
The Low Point : This match doesn't do anything for me. I hate you Dirty Desmond, for having me choose this match especially since you get to cover Rey and Kurt next. My analysis being completely shot to hell and Ric continues his trend of putting others over. My odds of that happening are about 50/50 then again it may not. Thank goodness I don't own a house I would lose it if I attempted to gamble on a guess.
Eddie Guerrero .v.s Edge - KJ
I don’t like Edge. I really, really don’t like Edge. I didn’t used to feel that way. In fact, I used to quite like the guy. Not anymore. Ever since he started feuding with Regal it’s just all been straight downhill. And the strange thing is, it’s like I’m the only one who
notices. Where are all the anti-Egdeites? Surely I can’t be the only one? Let’s count the cons: Edge has no character (or rather he has a character so erratic he might as well have no character), he has very little real heat and a pointy chin. His promos are very weak when he’s doing anything other than ‘funny’, something that becomes painfully obvious when he’s put in month long feuds with Regal and Angle. He’s just about tall enough and muscled enough to be bought as a Main-Event threat but he still looks and acts a bit too goofy to be totally credible. And he receives this incredibly constant push (wins over Regal, Angle, Jericho and Booker) that doesn’t seem to get him much of anywhere with the crowd. I’m really am appalled that there aren’t more people openly with me on this. Guess that shows what a Rob Zombie Entrance and a couple of good matches with Angle will do for you.
As for the match, well it’ll no doubt be good. I’ll give Edge his due and admit that he is a least very capable in the ring. There hasn’t been much of a build up except for a vague ‘I don’t like you’, ‘I don’t like you either’ thing over the last few Smack downs but what the hey, it’s better than a Hardcore match. I’m guessing it’ll open the show, Eddy will do most of the work, Edge will keep up, Eddy will act the dick, Edge will grin goofily. It’ll be fun stuff. Pretty hard to pick a winner, but I think I’ll side with Edge just because he’s probably going to be Benoit’s next opponent and therefore will be protected. On the subject of Eddy, there are far, far worse ways for the WWE to use him than teaming up with his brother to form the Guerreros, especially since Jericho, Benoit, Booker and Edge all seem to be in front of him in the line for the singles push. We all know how hard that team would rock. Oh, except they’re on the wrong show of course. Dang. Anyway, looking forward to this match. f*** Edge though.
The High Point : It’ll be a good opener; Eddy will make Edge look like gold in the ring.
The Low Point : The Edge push will continue unabated.
Ric Flair .vs. Chris Jericho - Marcus Madison
This match could go a number of ways. Really when you think of it I don’t see either of these men losing any steam regardless of the outcome. This feud has a nice build to it with both men getting the better of the other at different opportunities. The most recent saw Ric Flair interrupt Jericho's band Fozzy(at one time know as Fozzy Osborne I believe, don't quote me but they did cover versions of Ozzy's stuff)performance on Raw. On that night not only did "the man" Ric Flair walk the isle he did it with a guitar in hand. This has two guys willing to give the other the chance to shine surrounding it. Jericho has always entertained me in one way or another. At times it was his mic work, other times how he would job to get someone else over something needs to be said about that. I think I just said it. Flair, either like him or hate him he has always helped to put others over. That selfless quality throughout his career not only makes him look good to the younger guys but in the end makes him look good in the eyes of those who are watching him namely the higher ups. I see Ric's track of putting others over ending tonight and he finally getting over with a win, via the figure four would be classic.
The High Point: Looking forward to guys that will bump for each other finally do this during a PPV, this feud has reached his climatic pitch I am looking forward to it.
The Low Point : Two guys that can sell the heck out each other don’t resemble a low point in the least but when your Jericho’s tailor you the man has to be shot.
Tag Team Championship
Booker T & Goldust vs. Christian & Lance Storm - Marcus Madison
The Un-American's what a silly name. Maybe the Pro-Canadians, works fine for me. This feud had a relatively short build to it. The climax was short, really with what appears to have no longstanding power. The greater powers that be have deemed this sort lengthy feud which had a rather short climatic build to it onto center stage and this being Summer slam. The team of Goldust and Booker T seemed like the most obvious choice really when it comes to delivering out title opportunities. When you come to think about it who really is out there besides Billy and Chuck? Shannon and The Hurricane have just burst onto the tag team scene so a quick ascent seems unlikely. Realistically, the obvious of the obvious come out here when deciding who will hold the distinction of being the tag team champions by the end of the evening. The Un-Americans will walk away from this match up with there inverted stars and stripes hanging low, actually. We can rejoice that this time around that the Un-Americans aren't left imitating the Rougeau Brothers especially since those guys’ voices were terrible. Lance and Christian, Christian, Christian (you can't hear it but I'm imitating his theme music right now as we speak).
The High Point : This match finally gives the under used tandem of Lance and Christian the opportunity to showcase their talents, and together no less. Yippee, vie le Canada!
The Low Point :Complete and utter disappointment if Booker and Goldust come out on top. Oh yes, if Obi Book Ka Nobi and Gold Vader win I think I may ask I'm going to cry, but in a manly way really. Like this one time in camp when this buddy's kid sister kicked me in the...
WWE Title: The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar - KJ
So this is it. The Main Event. The Next Big Thing vs. The Great One.
There’s been a lot of talk about the pluses and minuses (mostly the minuses) of pushing Brock to the Main Event- at the second biggest show of the year no less- in the short time that he has been. Flaws in the booking certainly have been apparent, the bookers never seemed to have made their minds up about just exactly how indestructible they want Brock to be and stupid mistakes such as booking the match against RVD at Vengeance which was weakly blown off with a DQ to protect both guys heat. But to be honest I can’t fault the WWE for giving us this at Summer Slam. Why? Because it’s different and different is what we’ve all been clamoring for since Wrestle mania, now that we have it let’s not bitch. See how it turns out.
Just like with the rest of the card the WWE has used August well in terms of selling the Main Event, they’ve done their damndest to convince everyone that Brock is a genuine badass, even going so far as to have Rock show small signs of fear when confronted by him. All the signs point towards Brock winning the title here. The Rock doesn’t need this win either in story terms or in real life, since he’s got the point where he could spend an entire PPV jobbing and he’d still be over by the end of it with the aid of only ten minutes interview time. Brock on the other hand, does need the win here. A clean loss in his first PPV Main-Event would kill most of what heat he has as well as nullifying any threat he posed at that level. A win would do as much as anything to get him totally over with the fans, especially if he manages to finish in impressive fashion. And of course the Rock is leaving for Hollywood again in less than a month so it makes sense for him to drop the Title at the PPV instead of free TV. I’m not expecting much from the match but I’m not expecting it to suck by any means. It could drag if its give 20+ minutes, but I think both guys are energetic enough to avoid too much of that. Now let’s hope they don’t give us Undertaker/Brock for Unforgiven.
The High Point : Rock selling the F5 by pretending he’s dead.
The Low Point : I have a sneaking suspicion at the back of my mind that there’s going to be some sort of screw job/interference ending to this. A clean pin for Brock really would be the best way to go Vince
WWE Undisputed Championship
Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock - Marcus Madison
This match is much too predictable for my liking. I could follow the majority of hype out there and say alright, Rock is leaving to film a movie, so Brock has to win right? Nope, I had another theory about how this match could turn out. After a 20 minute conversation with a friend of mine we talked about this match. Silly notions swam through my head like Kane does a run in and all is saved. Then again he made me realize that the next PPV is only a few days after filming for Rock's next feature. So would they ever delay filming a movie that more than likely Vince has a vested interest in financially just to prolong The Rock's holding of the title? Anything is possible in the WWE. Do you remember those words? I say the inevitable is way too obvious; in fact it is so much so that following what consensus says will happen is what Vince has the ability to change. Simply put with one stroke of the pen fans could see "the next big thing", do take the next big wait in line. I say Rock pulls it out maybe Hogan does a run in, maybe it's Kane. It could be me; it could be you...who knows really. Let’s just sit back and enjoy this match up.
The High Point : Is that everything is may not be what it seems and this excites me.
The Low Point : Predictability tends to run rampant and that the chances of my be right are still only 50%.
Marcus Madison : so this brings another edition of the Monthly PPV DeConstruction Preview with my partner Dirty... what's your name again?
KJ: I told you! It’s K J! God-damnit, you do this every month!
Marcus Madison : Or at least once a month, that being that one
KJ : yeah well it's hard to keep track
Marcus Madison : Thanks Kevin "KJ" Jacobs. What will the readers ever do with out you next month?
KJ : Suffer in pain and misery, most likely
Marcus Madison : that's because they just don't know any better I take it?
KJ : I have no idea what you mean. CUT!
Marcus Madison: and with KJ all confused that ends another edition of the Monthly PPV Deconstruction thanks again for taking part.
KJ : okay, good?
Marcus Madison : see you next month when Adam returns and I don't get saddled with a silly pervert gimmick
KJ : 'gimmick', ahahahaha. End on that?
Marcus Madison : say bye KJ
KJ: bye KJ
Final Thoughts: Wow, Summer Slam is looking like an AWESOME show. There’s more substance and build in it than almost every other PPV of the year combined. None of the matches are obviously going to suck, and many have got good stories behind them. The Holy Three of wrestling have all got singles matches against talented opponents, Shawn Michaels is returning to the ring and we have new blood in the Main Event. I can’t wait.
Special Thanks to KJ, for taking part in this month’s edition I look forward to working again with this talented young man. Thanks Benji, you deserve it kiddo! To email, us Belfast and Bacon your deepest love notes let your inhabitions free VOTE SLOVAK
