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MPPVDP: Armageddon
by Marcus Madison on 2002-12-15

It's that special time again, time to put the children to bed and let your PPV thoughts do the walking. Once again Adam Karabel the Krispy Kreme to my Tim Horton's donuts and I are back to give you our spin one what to look forward, what not to look forward to, what to hope for and possibly a few suggested party snack ideas for your enjoyment. On this special Sunday. Apologizes all around for the delay with this column, it's not up on Friday, or Saturday but it is up on Sunday so better late than never I say. I'd also like to thank the New Kid on the Block, the Donnie Walberg of our clan Jon Tyler for filling in on my behalf. So without further delay I get to hit you with a ton of opinions about the PPV and some might even make sense...

Women's Championship Trish vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria

Marcus :Sorry John, even if Trish is Canadian like you and I, it's Victoria all the way for me in this one. The build up of this psycho bitch was been fantastic I'm getting that little itch more and more every time I see it. Oh the biting of Richard's ear was a nice touch. Please Victoria, come motivate me I beg you to! Kidding aside I'm opening up to the women's division just because of how their going to play this whole character out. Trish will fit into the fray nicely, and giving Jackie a shot seems to work. I still don't know where Molly is in all of this? Can anyone tell me, I'd like to know? I suppose putting Jackie in there is there tokenism approach to throwing in someone from the Raw brand although if they made Steven Richards the guest referee it may make it interesting. It may be biased, but at least a little more interesting.

The High Point - Fingers and toes are crossed that Victoria pulls it out in this one. Hold on to that title, sweets daddy's saying his prayers for you as we speak.

The Low Point - A 3 way match for a women's title makes no sense to me. It just doesn't, sorry. The women's division needs to have more competition in order for it to work effectively. Making it a 3 way dance just because Trish and Victoria had a bit of a back story last month shouldn't be why they have it this month. It may be a way to follow up it just takes away from the program Jackie and Victoria were building. I suppose if Vince wrote the match 6 breasts are better than 4 I guess.

Match Rating : Pulverized despite Victoria, still doesn't look good on the whole

Adam :Yet ANOTHER women’s title match worms its way onto PPV. This time Jackie is inexplicably thrown into the mix carrying the women’s title, despite the fact that she’s hardly wrestled on ever a semi-regular basis in the last year or so. Trish and Victoria have had some decent matches against one another, but I think throwing Jackie into the mix will only make matters worse. Many wrestlers in general have difficulty working triple threat matches, let alone wrestlers that are green like Victoria, one-dimensional like Trish and just plain BAD, like Jackie. I’ve always thought Jackie was a really bad wrestler in any situation. This is just going to be another mediocre woman’s wrestling outing that really doesn’t have any business on PPV, particularly when there is no cruiserweight match on the show and Matt Hardy isn’t wrestling. It’s just another blah match that will be forgotten immediately. As far as a winner goes, I’ll pick Victoria to regain the strap because Trish has already held it so many times and I doubt that the WWE wants the title on Jackie for a very long time.

The High Point - Trish Stratus is involved.

The Low Point - It’s a women’s wrestling match.

match rating : PULVERIZED from AK.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Marcus :Some fans might think this match is going to be boring and dry as hell. Thank goodness I am not one of them. The only highlight of Smackdown this past week was when Guerrero and Benoit hooked up. Only one problem the segment within the match was much too brief. I would enjoy watching a full fledged battle that should ensue between these two. I do have a slight problem with the program these two are running. I think it's much too short. Now on the other hand it's also been intense in the short time since it's gone on. So basically you have to weight the good and the bad and even them out. The program is based on revenge, nothing more and nothing less. So a match up with two who do their talking in the ring is something to look forward to as oppose none at all.

This match is probably something I'd look most forward to because of the intensity that ensues from the both of them going into this match. I look for a stiff, hard hitting affair where the one left standing is the one who could barely walk after that match. Solid from the opening bell to the closing moments

The High Point - Benoit and Guerrero will make rabbits going at it look like nothing.

The Low Point - The slow build up; with a little more time this program will blossom like a budding flower. If done right, throw in a few match options and blamo (yeah I said, "blam-o") you have the makings of something special.

Match Rating : Like you even had to guess Praise

Adam :SOMEBODY LOVES ME! There has yet to be a singles match between Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit on PPV and now that there is one I can’t wait for it. The story for the match makes perfect sense. Eddie screwed Benoit out of his shot at the WWE World Championship and now Benoit is pissed about it. Two of the best wrestlers in the world are about to go at it on PPV and I couldn’t possibly be happier. The tag title match on Smackdown did a good job of foreshadowing this match. Chris Benoit was righteously pissed off and wanted to get his hands on Eddie every chance he got. Benoit was getting very nice face pops on Smackdown and a strong match against Guerrero at Armageddon could easily help cement his face turn. This match should get between 15 and 20 minutes and could easily steal match of the year status as we wind down 2002. Benoit will win because he needs the win more and Guerrero is the tag champ, meaning he’ll have to be competing in tag action sometime soon. Not much else to say about this one, other than I can’t wait for it.

The High point - It’s Benoit against Guerrero. Need I say more?

The Low point - I can’t think of one at the moment.

match rating: PRAISED from A to the K.

A-Train vs. Edge

Marcus:I'm not a fortune teller but if I had a crystal ball I'd look into it and see that this A-Train to Clarksville push is being force feed down my throat like Tuesday's meatloaf. No matter how you cut it, it's still meatloaf. A little gamey, a touch burnt but meatloaf all the same. Really I don't get the big hoopla surrounding this match up. A feud based on revenge?? We have that on the card already it's called Guerrero/Benoit. They will do this match right and do it often. These two on the other hand appears to be nothing more than a simple follow-up to the match that was before this one and will leave the viewers cheated of seeing the deserving as much as I hate to admit it Kidman defending his cruiserweight title against (pick the opponent of your choice ...HERE)

Outside of Edge being the one that has to look motivated, nothing special comes to mind when even talking about this match. Do I have permission to stop talking about this match now? Please, pretty please.

The High Point - **still searching**

The Low Point - Where ever do I begin? Sharing the bent on revenge because you hurt my little buddy, seems like a role better suited for Batman. Sorry Edge, your no caped crusader and you have no sidekicks. Rey doesn't count, he stood alone before you and will once he comes back and believe me he will come back. (Well, at least I hope he does)

Match Rating : Pulverized

Adam:We were deprived of a Matt Hardy push, feud and PPV match because Vince McMahon wants Albert, the big, ugly, hairy, pudgy oaf to receive another push. Albert has a couple of nice offensive moves, but overall the guy is boring, meandering and completely lacking of any kind of charisma. This is a big step down for Edge, who has been in great feuds with some very good wrestlers all year. Edge hasn’t been given much of a chance to show whether or not he can carry a wrestler in his own right, but he will certainly get it here. I personally don’t think that Albert is able to be carried, but Edge sells really well and takes good bumps for his opponents so if Albert can keep up some consistent offense and not rest too much it could be a decent contest. That being said, it likely won’t be a decent contest. Albert will more than likely go over because Vince wants him too and Edge’s heat could very well die because of it.

The High point : Edge may be able to get a decent match out of the big man.

The Low point : It’s fucking Albert wrestling on PPV.

match rating : Pulverized from AK.

Kane vs. Batista

Marcus :I'm afraid of this match. I'll tell you why, this match scares me so. Going into it I'm probably the only guy that thought Batista looked impressive coming up from OVW. However as the months have passed and I've watched him closely in the ring I can only think of one thing. This guy is going to be the next Ahmed Johnson. Does anyone remember good old Ahmed? He of the having a reputation for hurting others he was in the ring with. Talk about deja vu all over again. Whenever Batista does a slam or a spine buster of some kind it doesn't appear as if he is completely following through with it. He picks the guy up, stumbles a bit looks awkward and drops him. To some it looks fierce, to others he's an accident lying in wait. So if he doesn't follow through with Kane, then Jacobs is going to get seriously messed up. Kane of the ever so changing I have a personality, I lost my personality, I lost 50 ibs, I forgot I can't speak, I had sex with someone 10 years prior to when I first told the world I had a girlfriend. Talk about confusing. Hey if that was difficult to read think about how hard it was to write it!

The High Point - Batista smartens up and hopefully finishes his moves or he'll be Ahmed reincarnated.

The Low Point - This match is nothing more than to help Batista's role as being the worst keep "enforcer" of the next *coughfourhorsemencough*. Batista get it together I have 50 dollars riding on this match man

Match Rating : Pulverized

Adam :This is another completely inane feud with a match that doesn’t belong on PPV. Batista has taken out Kane in every encounter they’ve been in so far and he pinned Kane in the middle of the ring. There isn’t much more that can be done with this feud unless they think Batista pinning Kane is going to help get him even more over or if they want Kane to win which would more than likely be devastating towards the push of Batista. I don’t have much of a problem with Ric Flair backing Batista. I think it’s good for a younger wrestler to get the rub from an older one through assistance. I’d much rather see Flair with Stephanie McMahon’s job on Smackdown, but that’s neither here nor there. While this isn’t a bad role for Flair, I can’t say I agree with the wrestler he is backing. Batista just seems like another roided-up monster to me and it doesn’t appear that he is very diverse in the wrestling ring. I’d much rather see Flair get behind someone like Lance Storm where they could play up the technical backgrounds of the two men but Batista is really tall and really huge so he’s first in line for a push. Batista wins the match with help from Flair and nobody cares. Kane just can’t seem to get anywhere in any kind of push he gets. He’s not a horrible wrestler for a big man, but he’s just destined to be stuck in mid-card limbo for the rest of his wrestling career.

The High point : Batista could get an opportunity to showcase whether or not he has some talent.

The Low point : It’s gonna suck.

match rating: PULVERIZED from AK.

Chris Nowinski vs. Maven

Marcus :This match makes sense to me. The back story works for it being that their graduates of Tough Enough, only one problem. I can't take Al Snow seriously as anyone's mentor. This doesn't appear to have warranted a main event contest especially neither wrestler has stood out. The teacher pupil saga has been done before and much better might I add than what Nowinski and Maven are passing on making us believe is an incredibly well contested feud. When we add to that that this was a last minute edition then well, doesn't support my belief that this match shouldn't be on the card as well. No match should be thrown in last minute, it takes away from the entire feud these two have been working and will take away from my enjoyment of the match overall to say the very least.

The High Point - Trust me, when I put up my low point it will be like looking into a mirror.

The Low Point - I'm not saying this will be a bad match, but I won't look forward to the student/pupil saga being rehashed

Match Rating : Pendulum

Adam:I’m glad this match was added to the card, as it features one guy I really like, one guy with a lot of potential and a legitimate feud. These guys both came out of the first tough enough competition and have been waging a war with one another on Raw. Whether or not the match will be a good wrestling contest is hard to say. Maven has a TON of natural charisma and always gets good baby face heat. He sells well and takes bumps well but his move set at this point leaves a lot to be desired. Nowinski is playing a very good smarmy heel character, but the guy is very weak and amateurish in the ring. His ring skills could be improved on, but the heel heat he receives could make up for it in this match. I think this will be a decent contest with good heat from the crowd. In the end, I think Nowinski will get some kind of cheap victory to further the feud down the road.

The High point : It’s two young, interesting wrestlers with a good feud getting a spot on PPV to show what they can do.

The Low point : The match may end up only getting five minutes and being really, really bad.

match rating : PRAISED from AK.

World Tag Team Championship Four Way Elimination Match Christian & Chris Jericho vs. Booker T & Goldust vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Lance Storm & William Regal

Marcus:I could say this match looks good on paper but if I did chances are someone is going to take a photo of it and put in their preview! *coughMarkcough*. Just teasing Pricey! Anyhow going into this four way battle the thing that has struck me has been the segment that took place between Booker and Goldust. How Goldust went from wanting out of the match to wanting back in seemed to be way too quick for my liking. I don't know about some fans but I left this match wanting to know when is the turn going to happen? Just way to suspicious to want back in that quickly, unless it's just a way of the trusty brain trustees putting their over imaginative cogs in motion. Think Goldust turns on Booker so this team isn't going anywhere.

The Dudley Boyz, don't appear to have lost much of a step being away from each other. Although I just don't think there being back together for four weeks is enough to warrant a title win. Although stranger things have happened. Now it gets down to the two teams that will make this match be all that it could be. I really, really like how the Regal/Storm team is developing. Old school cheating is being accomplished properly by this tandem. This is the way it should be none of this use the chair business that grows tiresome after a while. I see them coming out on top personally. Their push is without hype and actually is the most deserved and quietest title reign you'll ever see. You watch and see!

The High Point - Once it gets down to the Regal/Storm/Jericho/Christian segment of the match the ring will become the highlight of this match up. You take 4 of the hardest working guys on Raw and make them beat the crap out of each other and we'll all enjoy it.

The Low Point - Poorly staged double-cross on behalf of Goldust. This match up makes me want to eat bacon. No reason why I want to I just like pork do you mind!

Match Rating : Praise

Adam :On one level, you have a match featuring some really good wrestlers, some really entertaining wrestlers and a few of the only reasons to watch Raw. On another level, you have eight guys who were just slapped together in a match for some pretty meaningless tag team titles due to the fact that the booking team really couldn’t come up with anything better for them to do. I mean, wouldn’t you much rather see Jericho wrestling HBK? Or Booker T wrestling HHH on PPV? Or Lance Storm doing anything other than wrestling in a tag team with William Regal? Or Goldust doing something other than tag wrestling considering how charismatic and over the guys is? I know I would. At least there has been some actual feuds developed around this match to the point where every team in the match has heat with every other team. There have been skits and matches involving everyone so the basis for the match is there.

This match could go one of two ways. It could either be a great, solid tag team wrestling contest with all four teams showing what they are capable of or a giant clusterfuck with action that is boring and redundant or impossible to keep up with. I’d imagine that there will be a segment with every single person in the match hitting their finishing move on somebody else towards the end, which is A-Okay with me. As far as a winner goes, I think it’s high time that Booker T and Goldust finally win the tag titles. These two are the most over team on Raw yet they keep jobbing in every single tag title match they have ever been involved in. Booker T and Goldust deserve the belts and therefore I believe they will win.

The High Point : It could be a really, really good tag team wrestling match.

The Low Point : It will more likely be a huge clusterfuck.

match rating :Pendulum from AK.

WWE Championship Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Marcus :The build up to this match actually has given a slight edge to Show. I usually can't stand watching this big gorilla jump around, but this time it's different. As much as it pains me to say it, Show won't go down in this match up. Since receiving the title, he's looked motivated and this will make the difference. He's been plagued with have the issue of weight being a factor (not to mention skill always being an issue as well). Now having Kurt Angle job in this match up has seemed unlikely by some but if I follow how the current trend of how matches are going especially with big guys flat out squashing little guys to no end this match will be no different. This match has a little more credibility in it once you throw Angle into the mix.

The High Point - A well worked resurgence by The Big Show. You can't see it but I'm applauding right now as I speak.

The Low Point - Just give me a minute I'll try and find something. Wait, I found it "the continuing trend of big guy squashes little guy" I've never liked that way to build heat. What can I say? Just call me David minus Goliath. I usually like the underdog, except for Kurt Angle.

Match Rating :Pendulum

Adam :Well, Kurt Angle finally has the world title shot he’s rightfully deserved all year. It’s unfortunate that it has to come against the most undeserving champion in a long time. Kurt Angle, along with Benoit, has started a gradual face turn over the past couple weeks. I really think the Benoit/Angle feud and their subsequent reign as tag champions helped the turn for both men. The fans were very in to all the action between the two men and like them as tag champions so much that now that they have broken off into other feuds they are very over with the crowds. The match itself could be decent if it’s about five minutes long but I have a feeling that won’t be the case. The Big Show is just a terribly boring, slow, uninteresting wrestler and if he is on offense for any extended period of time during this match it will completely suck. The presence of Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman on the outside of the ring should help to add to the crowd interest in the match. Paul is usually very capable of drawing heat and he and Lesnar playing off one another will sustain some crowd interest. The match could go to either man. Lesnar could accidentally cost Angle the match which would further cement the feud between the two. Lesnar could then proceed to get revenge on the Big Show and Angle could win the Royal Rumble. Or Angle could just simply win the match with help from Lesnar and promise Lesnar a title shot in turn. I’m voting for the latter, as Angle has been the Big Show’s bitch at the end of the last two episodes of Smackdown. Big Show even beat Angle cleanly on Thursday’s show and due to the typical losses on Smackdown win on PPV rule I’m picking Kurt Angle to win the match and finally get another title reign that he so rightfully deserves.

The High point : Kurt Angle getting a shot at the world title.

The Low point : Kurt Angle getting a shot at the world title against the Big Show.

match rating :Pendulum from AK. I’m really glad to see Kurt Angle getting a world title match, yet at the same time it saddens me to see the Big Show defending the world title.

World Heavyweight Championship best of three falls match. First Fall - Street Fight. Second fall - Steel cage. Third fall (if necessary) - Ladder match Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels

Marcus :Why? I have no other reason to ask this question when thinking about this match. The severity of what could happen is undoubtedly there, the problem is there is no guarantee that it won't happen. This match on the surface is well staged disaster waiting to happen. Shawn went through months of rehab, no doubt. He took time off and spent time with his wife and kids and viola he comes back and they toss him the title. Add to that he's managed to wrestler less than I believe twice since winning the title, doesn't help in making me the least bit concerned. Fellow Oratory writer KJ once expressed what the repercussions of Shawn’s coming back could be. I echo those sentiments exactly.

This match seems like nothing more than a way to put Triple H firmly in grasp of the title, again. I can't prove he's holding down the other guys especially since he's not physically able to restrain EVERYONE at once. Check that, I meant he couldn't possibly stand on top of the entire RAW roster, he's only Triple H he's not He-Man. Although I could be totally wrong here, I doubt it but I could be. Shawn could come out of the title match on top, and if this is the case I will eat my humble pie, (even though I prefer blueberry personally). It goes all three falls, in a sorry twist of fate Shawn loses in the very match he contributed to make a classic, the "ladder match".

The High Point - Three matches in one. It will be full of bumps and you can’t take away from guys that will continually bust their asses out there for the good of the show. Bravo fellas, bravo.

The Low Point - My overwhelming concern for the safety and well being of HBK is almost going to make me watch this with night mask on.

Match Rating : Overall Pendulum

Adam :This match is such a paradox for me that I’m having difficulty reviewing it. Shawn Michaels is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time and in his two matches where he returned to PPV he has given amazing performances that reminded me of the greatness that is HBK. This match will give him three falls to showcase his still-great abilities and put on one last clinic for the wrestling world. I’m looking forward to watching the match and seeing the performance of Shawn Michaels.

On another level, the buildup and result of this match both sucks. This feud has really done nothing for anyone other than Triple H, just as every feud Triple H is in is basically designed to put over Triple H. The conflicts between the two men haven’t been that great. The interviews from HBK left a lot to be desired. And the fact that Triple H is pretty much guaranteed to win this match rather than somebody who could use a rub from a man like HBK is thoroughly depressing. Imagine how much more we’d be looking forward to this if it was Michaels wrestling Jericho or Rob Van Dam? It would be the ultimate put-over match. Instead, we are going to get another Triple H victory so he can dominate a program that gets worse and worse under his dominance. Triple H will win. I would bet money on it. He’s been on the losing end of the situation against Michaels for the last few weeks. He’s been made to look like the weaker of the two men. He is absolutely going to win this match. I’m looking forward to the match, but I’m not looking forward to the outcome. The match will boil down to a ladder match in the end, as pretty much all two out of three falls matches will end in the third fall. I hope Michaels doesn’t attempt anything to risky that puts his health in danger. I know he’ll do his best to put on a show for the ages though.

The High point : Shawn Michaels wrestling a two out of three falls match.

The Low point : It’s all about the GAME.

No Match Rating was given

Dawn Marie promises to show the footage of what happened in her hotel room with Torrie Wilson

Marcus :You all think I'm going to be excited about this one but it's not happening. I am not going to get excited at the thought, not anymore. Huge build up just be let down appears to be the most common trend this with story, I'm not going to dangle like a wiggling fish on hook for this match. Realistic thinking, wins out in this one. I don't think we'll even see really much of anything maybe a kiss, maybe some shadows, a few silhouettes but probably that's about it. Yeah, it's a sad day when perverts can't unite but it had to happen some time.

Final Totals for MM :
Praise - 2
Pendulum - 3
Pulverized - 3

Final Totals for AK :
Praise - 2
Pendulum - 2
Pulverized - 3

For Adam Karabel, this is Marcus Madison saying drive safe, don't talk to strangers and drink allot at frat parties while in school because when your to old to think and you'll hope remember the good old days. Were Krispy Kreme and Tim Horton two donuts that aren't good for your diet but sure as hell taste good going down!

Quotes from the boys: Ed Moretti says "Okay lets see...they did twenty high spots, chairs, tables, chains, outside interference, and juice...what's the rest of the card gonna do"?

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