And thats how the cat ate the cabbage!
by Dan Titus on 2003-04-29

So, I'm watching RAW last night, which was pre-empted about 3 1/2 hours due to playoff hockey. I'm exhausted, I had been up since 2am, it was now 11:30pm, and I kept falling asleep and waking myself up to see what was going on with the show. I wake up and see Betty White coming to the ring to confront Eric Bischoff. Well, ok,it was Linda Mcmahon, but in my sleep deprived brain, I would have sworn to Jebus it was Betty White. But I'm sure Betty would never go anywhere without her posse of Rue Mclanahan, Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty guarding her back, so the whole thing was just completely surreal. Estelle Getty has Alzheimers Disease now, so I guess if they needed her to fill a role, they could just have her wandering aimlessly around the back of arenas, getting into all sorts of hysterical and daffy hi-jinks.

Besides, Marty Goldstein would finally be happy to see a woman in wrestling his own age.

*********

Steve Austin announces his retirement on WWE.com. Mixed emotions on this for sure. Yeah, I admit to being a massive and unrepentant Austin mark. Say what ya will, but he had maybe the greatest run ever. Would the company have made its big comeback in the latter 90's without him? It seems doubtful.

*********

Kinda old news, but since people are still dogpiling on her, I'll address it: I admire Natalie Maines of The Dixie Chicks. She said what she felt needed to be said. A lot of the so called backlash was made up thru the right wing media. Weeks after the controversy hit, the Chicks still had the top selling country album in North America(It was #1 as recently as 2 weeks ago) This past weekend, they sold out an 18,000 seat arena in one hour. So, it will pass. The way some carried on, you'd have thought she had her name changed to Natalie Hussein. Thats whats irked me most: These people who think if you were opposed to the war, you were obviously in support of Saddam. Those of us with functioning brain stems know otherwise. I think as George Carlin once said on an episode of MadTV, "Sometimes the best reading you can do is between the lines". Obviously, anybody who speculates the US went over there for any other reasons than to topple a dictator and be swell guys, is nothing more than a pinko commie.

I love all the sheep bleating about how she had the audacity to question authority. Bad Natalie! Report for your spanking. Bring the brunette with you. Maybe next time she'll think twice about thinking for herself.

**********

Man, 12 years ago, the WWF could not wait to cash in on an Iraqi heel during a war. Now they fall all over themselves to be the first pair of warm hands in the jingoistic circle jerk. I'm refering to this business of having the APA visit military bases.

So, is Vince going to send the APA in to find these weapons of mass destruction Governor Bush swore to the heavens were there, but apparently have a chemical property that makes them turn invisible? Hey, Vince, why not have them visit all those Iraqi children who are now missing limbs due to US bombing raids? Now THAT would be gutsy, as opposed to a bunch of "love it or leave it!" claptrap.

************



Ya know, nobody has as much reverance for Trish Stratus' rack than I do. But in the interest of safety, I must put out a public warning....

Jazz: For the love of God, please stop lifting her up and slamming her chest first on the mat! You'll eventually leave a pair of breast shaped holes in the mat, and as comical as that may be(Similiar to cartoons where a character runs thru a door and leaves nothing but the trace of their body.) the repair bills will be astronomical.

Second, gravity is very unpredictable. One day, you are going to do this, and Trish will bounce off the canvas and land back on her feet right in front of you, resembling a scene from Robin Williams "Flubber" movie. The girl is capable of taking back bumps,ya know. But the last two RAW's have been scary with this.

In closing, if you're looking for wrestling tapes, go to http://www.bluethundervideo.com I have nothing to gain from this, just a satisfied recent customer.

Dan
"Those are exactly my sentimonies."