Titus Talks
by Dan Titus on 2001-08-16

Ah, summer. Barbecues, the beach, tv reruns, and women wearing outfits that fill my dirty mind with thoughts of sexual gratification. Maybe I'll even invite a few of them. And one more important event in the dog days of summer: Summerslam. This will be an evaluation of the card. Knowing the WWF, a few more things will be added, but lets go through the already announced lineup:

World Wrestling Federation Championship
Stone Cold vs. Kurt Angle

Austin has overcome a rocky start to his heel turn to become, once again, a key factor in watching. We'll see if that translates into his in-ring performance. I expect this to be a surprisingly technical match, and I think it's gonna go down by submission.
Winner:Angle-submission I hope this goes thirty.

WCW Championship
Booker T vs. The Rock

The PPV return of The Rock. Standard Rock-all-over-the-building brawl. Is there any doubt Rock is going over?
Winner: Rock

WWF & WCW Tag Team Championship
Steel Cage Match
Undertaker & Kane vs. DDP & Kanyon

Ooooh, this is going to be a train wreck. The DDP/Taker angle must end. No one cares.
The way to add finality to the angle would be for DDP to take some crazy monster bump, but don't count on it.I have a feeling Sara will become airborn.
Winners:Kane and Taker

Intercontinental Championship
Lance Storm vs. Edge

Has potential to be excellent, but with all the belts in the Invasion angle, the IC belt is lost in the shuffle. They have not given us sufficient reason to want Storm to lose or care that he holds the belt to begin with.
Winner:Storm after Christian screws up

Cruiserweight & Light Heavyweight Championship
X-Pac vs. Tajiri

Even during the brief period Xpac held both belts, I don't think anyone thought of him as the top light heavyweight in the business. Thats really who the unified title should be reserved for. Tajiri could carry the division if it was given a fighting chance.
Winner: Tajiri

Ladder Match for the Hardcore Championship
Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam

Ok, this is the "Sam Halsall drooling uncontrollably while holding his cock in his hand" match. No way this could fail, especially adding in a ladder. Evil Knievel would be proud.
Winner: RVD

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

Could be a show stealer. These two could have a great thing, if it was done in a series of matches. I think to keep the feud going, Rhyno goes over .
Winner:Rhyno

Dudley Boyz & Test vs. APA & Spike
Who cares. This provides an opportunity for a bathroom break. Buh Buh and D-von are stalled, and its almost time for the WWF to do what they do every few months: Push Test to the moon, then drop it in a fashion that makes no sense. The APA must not go over, as punishment for the AWFUL promo they cut at WWF New York. Farrooq: "We gonna beat up da Dudleys and Test so bad, all they gonna do is go "Damn.............." Guys : Being drunk is a gimmick you shouldn't bring to real life!