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The high pitched instrument of your destruction.
by Dan Titus on 2002-03-05

So,here I was at Max corner store in Nanaimo,trying to make the decision whether to buy a diet coke with lemon, or apple juice(For some reason, the apple juice was a dollar more) when all of a sudden, I looked up and saw...No, it was not the girl of my dreams like in the movies, sadly, it was the NWG. And he was really no help to me in this dilemma, matter of fact, he was about as useless as tits on a bull. So, anyway, we were leaving the store, talking about Raw last night, when he tells me Austin had the wrong knee bandaged up after the cinder block attack. Um, given that Austin already has both knees braced anyway, does it really make any tangible difference? Austin can't keep his balance anyway, so maybe he injured the knee opening a can of soda or something.

And what's with Vince Mcmahon merely introducing the NWO? What, does he think it's like introducing an act on the Muppet show? At least he's the Mcmahon with the good sense to scale back his tv time. But with all his diabolical scheming, we know who he really wants to be:

Yes, Vince wants to be Charles Montgomery Burns! Just watch, at Wrestlemania, we are going to find out that the NWO are really those three bully's that always hang around at the Quickie Mart trying to steal free Squishees, and they have been enlisted in a scheme so Vince can create a device that will block out the sun!Hence, the entire world is ripe for blackmail. Just think about it: Mr Burns has a dumb,beer swilling bald guy who's always foiling his plans. Vince Mcmahon also has a dumb beer swilling bald guy who's always foiling his plans.Burns has a gay assistant doing all his bidding, Vince has a gay assis...ok, I went for the obvious joke. Sorry. People, why do I always have to be the one to lead you by the hand on this stuff? It all makes sense.

After Fox gets thru with this celebrity boxing special, I don't think anyone should ever bash the WWF or pro wrestling in general as classless, "Let's cater to the lowest common denominator" entertainment ever again. Of course, we all know the day after this fiasco, the news media will pepper the coverage with WWF references. It is kinda funny, Amy Fisher did the mattress mambo with Joey Buttafuoco(sp?) but she backs out of this? What,like she has all of this dignity now that she didn't have before? Todd Bridges vs Vanilla Ice? Ok, maybe seeing Vanilla Ice get his lights punched out by an ex con qualifies as a guilty pleasure, but if Todd loses, I expect to see Gary Coleman asking "WhatchootalkinboutWillis?" from the cheap seats. As far as Danny "Danny Partridge" Bonaduce vs Barry"Greg Brady" Williams, well, it's been a few years since Bonaduce punched out that three dollar transvestite in Central Park, so he may be a little rusty.

I know Fox isn't catering to the same crowd that awaits the return of "Dr Quinn,Medicine Woman", but people need to start being more selective with what they watch, or we just get more trash like this.

I was watching the Trish/Jazz match last night with someone who is only a casual wrestling viewer, and at one point, he turned to me and said "Wow,these women are actually wrestling, not writhing in a pit of pudding,or egg nogg, or apple cider, but wrestling, this is pretty cool". See, thats the problem with the way the WWF has handled the womens division. A good quality wrestling match should never be a surprise. They have made fans appreciate nightclub food wrestling over actual talent. Hopefully the can keep going the way they have been.

"Smither's, who are these buxom young spitfires?"

"Trish Stratus and Jazz,sir. They're trying to get wrestling over based on it's own merit over a tawdry T&A act. Should I release the hounds?".


I've visited Sam Halsall over at his place, and in between telling his wife Jodie the secret of life, we've had the chance to view some Japanese video's, including a video called "Megumi Kudo's squall" a video commemorating the retirement of the FMW legend. For those of you who have never seen her, imagine this :A very petite,demure woman, very pretty, could probably pass for a model over there, but combine it with a love of FMW deathmatches, ya know, barb wire, explosions, etc. If ya ever get a chance, pick up some tapes with some of her matches, a very unique woman,indeed.

This past Saturday, we watched a video about "Cosplay" which are competitions held where pretty Japanese girls dress as their favorite anime characters, such as superheroes, cute little animals,etc. I totally love it when women are able to indulge in a little bit of fantasy like this. Nothing overtly sexual involved in this tape, but there was one girl with green hair I could have slipped the pork sword right thru her dress. If I ever go to Japan, I'm gonna wear my Zorro outfit with no pants, and see if I can sore with some of these asian hotties dressed like little foxes or something. Damn,that shit is a turn on. We never see Canadian women dress like sexy animals or wear short superhero outfits. Sheesh.

As far as the Rock making a return to Smackdown this week, if they have him come out looking like he just took a three week cruise in the bahamas, I am going to scream. Have him come out on cruthches or something, actually selling the injury. Remember when Ricky Steamboat got hit in the throat with the ring bell, and did these scenes where he had to go to therapy, and practice learning to talk again, and he looked like a gimp? Thats selling the angle! Or remember when Rick Martel blinded Jake Roberts with cologne, and Jake made like he was blind? Well, maybe he was just drunk and didn't know where he was. Possible bad example. Hee hee, alcoholics amuse us all.

On Friday, a Kansas city schoolteacher has her class raided by law enforcement agents, after she announced plans to feed a puppy to snake. Who does she think she is, Rob Black?

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Quotes from the boys: Notorious T.I.D. says "Well, I guess it's time to start naming some names. Sweet Daddy stink.....go wash. Jamie stink.....go wash. Magnus.......quit shitting yourself."
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